


Clearest Blue

by Postscript8



Category: Mass Effect, Mass Effect: Andromeda
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-29
Updated: 2017-04-02
Packaged: 2018-10-12 15:48:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 23,141
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10494228
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Postscript8/pseuds/Postscript8
Summary: Dr. Lexi T'Perro may not have been distracted by Sara Ryder at the beginning of their journey, but maybe first impressions were deceiving? Sara certainly grew on you, but would Lexi realize how she felt before it was too late?





	1. Closer

**Author's Note:**

> This will be a multi chapter story following Ryder and Lexi's relationship. (several chapters already ready to go!). It aligns mostly with the game's plot, so story spoilers abound! Read at your own risk. I do deviate from the game at points. Let me know what you think! All characters below to the Mass Effect world! I even used game dialogue here and there!
> 
> Special thanks to fellow Ao3 writer/Mass Effect geek theglob! for helping me with some ideas and editing! (http://archiveofourown.org/users/FParker/pseuds/theglob)

“I had no idea, I’d love to hear more. Over dinner maybe?” Sara wasn’t one to put herself out there. She was nervous, a researcher at heart who dealt much better with studies and data than she did people. Honestly, it surprised her that she’d just blurted it out, barely knowing Dr. T’Perro. She could try and blame it on the asari being the first friendly face she’d seen waking up on the Hyperion, but logic told her that was just an excuse. In reality, she was drawn to Lexi. There was something about the way she looked at Sara, her hazel eyes creating a calming effect that mesmerized the Pathfinder. Her normal filter had gone right out the window. 

“Oh, um… thing is Ryder.. You’re not my type.” It was a soft let down, nothing personal right? Lexi thought. Surely, it was better than just telling the Pathfinder you didn’t form attachments like that? This was simple, less baggage, they had just met after all. And it was true, Lexi had never really dated anyone like Ryder, nor had the thought crossed her mind. She’d be lying if she didn’t think the Pathfinder was attractive, but that was merely fact, nothing more. 

“What’s your type?” Sara probably shouldn’t have pushed it. Just let it go, it would’ve been smoother on her part, but smooth was the opposite definition of Sara Ryder. And it was clear her mind was not in the driver seat of this particular conversation. 

“Not a patient. I need to be able to look at you clinically. Without distractions.” Lexi shifted her weight back and forth as she waited to see how her response would be taken. If there was one thing Lexi had learned from the short time she’d spent with Ryder and the dossier of the young woman, was that Sara was a scientist, understanding solid evidence, so why not present your argument with a stable base, something logical that would make sense, less based in feelings and more in facts. 

“Am I distracting?” Sara raised her eyebrows, crossing her arms, hoping her casual body language would make that phrase sound more playful than it did in her head. It wasn’t what she should have said in that moment. Sara should’ve said, ‘I understand, of course. That makes perfect sense.’ because it did. Lexi was her doctor for the foreseeable future and that sort of entanglement wasn’t wise. She knew her father would’ve disapproved… but he wasn’t here and Sara was floundering. 

“Not nearly as much as you think you are.” It came out a bit more harsh than the doctor had intended, but maybe Ryder would see the humor meant in the joke and laugh the whole situation off. Either way, Lexi hoped this was a bridge they wouldn’t have to cross again. However, she could see Ryder’s body tense across from her, hands dropping to her side and moving into her pockets, an obvious shift in the playful behavior she’d entered the med bay with. Lexi needed to change the subject, make things more comfortable. “But, we were discussing the Kett.” Redirecting always worked, didn’t it? This time it did. The Pathfinder directed her attention to the datapad Lexi was holding with Kett information. Sara didn’t push and Lexi tried to forget the conversation ever occurred. It was certainly less awkward this way. 

\--------------------------

It wouldn’t be true to say that Sara forgot about that conversation. She thought about it a few times afterwards, during moments she’d catch herself staring at the doctor, even when she wasn’t speaking. She’d attempt to play it off most of the time, redirecting her gaze to someone else on the Tempest crew and no one ever mentioned anything. Over time, it almost felt like that first awkward moment had never happened. They fell into a quiet friendship, Lexi checking on Sara when needed and informing her of any pertinent information. It wasn’t until Sara had come across a memory unlocked by SAM of her father that she was unsure who to turn to.

“Hey, you free?” Sara leaned against the doorframe of the medbay, peeking in at Lexi who was leaning over her desk, datapads scattered around her. 

“Of course, Sara, is anything wrong?” They had fallen into a comfortable pace, a pleasant doctor/patient relationship built on mutual respect. It was nice and Lexi was happy to keep the Pathfinder as healthy as she could, it was the least she could do with all Sara had done for everyone. 

“Umm… turns out my dad locked out memories of his through SAM and I somehow triggered them? At least one. There’s still ones not available… I’m not sure if I’m explaining this right.” Sara collapsed on a chair next to the doctor’s desk, rubbing her temples with her fingertips. 

“What was the memory you saw?” Lexi could tell this was causing Ryder stress and as her doctor, she needed to determine the cause and alleviate it however she could. 

“The start of this all, the beginning of SAM. Dad not getting council support to make SAM and learning my mom was sick and there wasn’t anything he could do…” Sara was never good at opening up, surprisingly that was more Scott’s style, the wear his heart on his sleeve type, but he wasn’t here with Sara, she was doing this alone with a crew of people she barely knew. 

“I can imagine that was hard to watch. Any idea why that memory would be significant? Possible because it was what brought him here?” Lexi was surprised Sara was being so open with her. Not that she minded, it was her job after all, to listen. But Sara had always been matter of fact over emotions. It had seemed the dam was about to break.

“I think so… maybe they are all steps on how he got here. A way to tell you a story he couldn’t when he was still with us.” Lexi wasn’t sure if that was comforting or not. It was obvious what Sara had seen was weighing heavy on her. Her expression was grave, head slumped, eyes heavy. The doctor knew, out of anybody, that it was her responsibility to ensure the mental well being of the Pathfinder, besides, Sara had no one, really and the were friends, of a sort? 

“I wish he could tell me. I wish I could ask him why me? Why not Cora? She would be a great Pathfinder… I’m 22 years old, how could he possibly think this was a good idea?” Sara’s tone was raising as she spoke, her pulse elevating, emotion threatening to take over. To gain some part of control, she ran her hands through her hair, attempted to calm herself. 

“He had his reasons Sara. Maybe he saw something in you that you didn’t. Alec was not a man who took threw caution to the wind without reason. He trusted you, knew you could do this. Look at what you’ve already done in such a short amount of time. You set up a successful colony on Eos. The initiative failed for over a year.” Pep talks weren’t Lexi’s strong suit, but it was the best attempt she could make, it was impossible for her to understand the weight on Sara’s shoulders. She knew she couldn’t remove anything from Sara’s plate, but maybe compassion and empathy was what the pathfinder needed. The doctor reached out, placed a gentle hand on Sara’s shoulder. Something that under normal circumstances would be welcomed contact, but all it did was add another issue to Ryder’s plate that she couldn’t possibly deal with, unrequited feelings.

“It’s all SAM though, isn’t it? I’m special because he makes me special. Anyone with an implant like this could interact with the monoliths…” It was finally out there, the concern that had been plaguing Sara since she awoke from their trip to Habitat 7. You didn’t have to be an extraordinary soldier if you had an AI on your side. 

“Pathfinder Sara, your father knew that I only enhanced the abilities that were already there. I am not made to make the human, but to enhance one’s capabilities. I have flaws, things I cannot understand from a perspective only you can show me. Dr. T’Perro is correct, Alec made his choice wisely.” At that moment Lexi wished she could’ve hugged SAM, to thank him for stepping in when she didn’t have the words. 

“Maybe… I… thank you. Both of you. For listening.” Sara looked up at Lexi, a weak smile forming across her face. It was an improvement from the pained expression she’d entered with. 

“Your well being is important to me. That is what I am here for Sara. My door is always open.” Lexi really meant what she said, beyond doctor patient duties, she wanted to be there for Sara as a friend, because it was obvious the Pathfinder needed someone she could trust more than just soldiers on a battlefield. 

“Yeah… part of the job, right?” Sara hadn’t meant it to sound cold, but she wasn’t quite in control of her tone. 

“Right. My job. Yes.” She wanted to correct Sara, to tell her she wanted to be there for her simply because she was her friend, but maybe the line Lexi had drawn a few weeks ago after Sara’s flirtation had been too thick in the stand for friendship to have space to grow. 

“I’ll leave you to your paperwork.” And like that Sara exited the medbay and headed straight for the cargo bay. She passed Vetra tinkering with some contents in a box and went straight to a small room in the back corner, one she’d cleared out when she’d set up on the Tempest. There wasn’t much in the room, a punching bag, weight bench, some free weights. Just enough for Sara to blow off some steam. 

Strapping on gloves, Sara began to pummel the bag, driving her fists into the leather until the force almost made the gloves useless. Nothing was fair, not to her. Her parents were dead, Scott was in a coma, the one person she’d developed feelings for wasn’t into her and on top of all of the superficial and personal stuff, an entire station of people’s lives, their futures depended on her, a 22 year old Alliance researcher. 

She was in such a trance, she didn’t even notice that the door had slid open and she had gained an audience. Peebee watched for a moment, taking in Sara’s body as she practically knocked the bag off it’s chain. 

“I’d hate to ask who you’re picturing as that bag…” Sara’s head shot up and she made eye contact with Peebee, her breathing still labored. 

“Would it be a cop out to say the Kett?” Peebee smiled and nodded, pushing herself away from the doorframe. 

“That’s a lot of aggression…”

“Well the Kett suck… so.” Peebee laughed. 

“I never did get people who worked out when they wanted to let go, seems like too much effort. I prefer floating in zero gravity… among other activities…” Peebee had flirted with Sara and the Pathfinder had returned her affections, if just out of fun, mostly. 

“I am pretty sure those other activities require at least a little effort or you’re doing it wrong.” This made the asari chuckle again. 

“Fair. Well if you ever want an alternative way to blow off that steam, you let me know. In the meantime, Cora is calling everyone to the bridge, video call from Addison, don’t think you heard the announcement over all of your punching.” 

“Thanks, I’ll be up in just a second.” The asari winked at Sara, tossing her a towel before leaving. Sara wished it could be that easy with Lexi, a simply flirtatious jab or two and then they just let it go, but there was this invisible barrier Sara couldn’t seem to push past. 

When Sara made her way to the bridge, everyone was waiting for her. The Pathfinder’s cheeks were still red, sweat, coating her body in a thin layer causing her initiative tank top to stick to her form. If you looked around the room, it was an interesting reaction to behold. Liam heard almost audibly gulping at the sight of Sara, Suvi looking away, briefly as if to collect herself and Drack just breaking the silence. 

“You smell horrible, kid. You forget where the showers were already?” He smacked her on the back with a loud pop. Lexi was glad he’d taken the attention away from the Pathfinder, she’d been staring, she knew that much. But since everyone was paying attention to Sara, she knew she hadn’t been caught. 

“Thanks Drack, can we just patch Addison through?” Cora nodded and clicked a few buttons on the vidcon panel, Addison’s holo popping in. 

It was a simply discussion. A talk about the next plans, the vault on Aya that was now priority number one. It would take them a bit of time to get there, so Ryder dismissed the crew and headed straight for her shower, needed to wash off the funk of this day. It had been far too long and exhausting.


	2. Let Me In

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More to come of course! But I figured I'd post more since it was written :D

Aya was gorgeous, not a bad planet to crash land on if you had to choose. The lush trees and waterfalls made the crew the Tempest drool. This had been what they expected to find upon arriving in Andromeda, it looked like an actual golden world, but of course, the angaran had agreed and beaten them to the punch. Sara knew how important first contact protocol was and she found herself wishing her father had been there, he’d made first contact before, he’d know how to handle this situation. Following her gut without any data to back it up scared Sara. It was risky, they knew nothing of the angaran and one wrong move could mean disaster. Jaal was a kind face though, a beacon of hope in a world that seemed less than pleased about her presence. 

“Do not pay attention to them, they are very wary of outsiders, especially here on Aya. You are the first non-angaran here. It is a bit of shock for us all.” Sara nodded, it was still a shock for her as well. 

“I understand, the Kett didn’t made a great first alien impression. I’d say we are different, but you have no real evidence to back that up yet.” Jaal chuckled.

“True, but they are giving you a chance to prove your intentions. Help the angaran and we will be willing to help you… For now, you cannot go past the docks.” 

“Makes sense. Do you have what you need? I can bring you in and introduce you to the crew, show you where you can sleep.” 

The ship had been in a small state of panic since Ryder had left. It wasn’t just that the Pathfinder was no longer on deck, but that she was stepping out alone into a sea of unknowns. It was risky, but they had to play by angaran rules. This was their world afterall. Lexi set herself up in the medbay, monitoring Sara’s vitals closely, watching for spikes in anything from blood pressure to adrenaline. Everything had been calm and she heard the comm system announce the Pathfinder as soon as she’d re-entered the ship. Lexi quickly made her way up the ladder and to the bridge, wanting to make sure everything was okay and her readings hadn’t been tampered with. 

What she wasn’t expecting was to come face to face with a tall cat-like man with pinkish skin and a monocle. 

“Oh… I apologize.” Sara grinned. 

“Jaal, this is our ship’s doctor, Dr. T’Perro.” He stared at her closely. 

“She does not resemble you…. Another species? Asari, yes? I have heard the resistence speak of them, though I have not seen one up close.” Lexi wasn’t sure how she felt being scanned over, but what else could she do.  
“And I have not seen anyone like you up close either.” Jaal smiled at this small come back. “But, if you are on this ship, we will need to have a physical completed, unless there is a problem with that?” She didn’t mean to sound so official, but his inspection had caught her off guard. 

“Not a problem It is understandable. I will find the medbay when I am settled in.” He was pleasant, almost too nice, Peebee had commented after she’d run into him in the kitchen. After Jaal had settled in, they’d set course for Havarl, the angaran birthplace. If they wanted into the Aya vault, or at least help locating it, they needed to prove to this new race they were not like the ravenous Kett. 

Havarl was a beautiful world, not quite Aya, but it had it’s picturesque vantage points if you got around the massive creatures trying to eat everyone. Sara was pulling on her vambraces as Lexi entered the equipment room. 

“Jaal says there are a few rather poisonous plants here, please listen to him if he tells you to avoid something, we have serums, but I am not sure what the new flora reacts to.” Sara nodded, a silent response as she finished suiting up, almost ignoring Lexi altogether. The doctor definitely noticed it and wasn’t really in the mood, not when there was a mission and the Pathfinder’s safety could be at risk. She stepped around Sara, placing herself between the soldier and her helmet. 

“If you’d like to do it this way, I can stick you with ten antibodies now, just in case. Since you appear to be in a more obstinate mood.” Sara made eye contact with Lexi, holding her gaze for a minute before speaking. 

“I heard you, Dr. T’Perro. I will listen to Jaal.” Her voice was cold, her eyes, almost colder as she practically starred through Lexi. This wasn’t just about their rough conversation the other day, something else was bothering Sara. 

“Come see me as soon as you’re back. We need to talk.” Lexi’s voice was stern, in a way Ryder wasn’t used to, her stance firm and reflecting her dominant demeanor. Sara’s mood softened under the doctor’s presence. 

“Sorry…. I will.” The doctor was pleased at the change of tone, a reassuring smile now gracing her face. Whatever was bothering Sara, needed to be left on this ship or the mission was at risk. 

“It’s okay. Good luck out there.” Lexi reached out and squeezed Ryder’s armored shoulder before exiting the gear room. 

“Okay team, out in five.” 

\----------------------

Havarl turned out to be nastier than the team would’ve liked. They managed to reactivate the one remaining monolith, saving the planet from the edge of its demise. It was enough to please most of the angarans, which had been the main point of the mission. 

“We won’t settle on Havarl. It is the angaran home world, we shall leave it to them, but they did graciously offer to let our scientists set up shop. I’ve informed the Nexus to send a team. We are setting course for our next planet, Voeld. Get some rest the next few days and everyone check in with Lexi before tomorrow night.” Sara smiled as the crew actually waited for her to say “Dismissed.” before leaving. It was progress and she was feeling a little closer to a leader. Baby steps, she told herself. 

The fights on Havarl had taken a toll on her and she was tired. She knew she needed to talk to Lexi, but her eyelids were barely staying open. It could wait a day. Sara slid down the ladder to her quarters, practically falling on her bed, fully clothed as SAM turned on soft music to lull her to sleep. 

Exactly 9 hours later she was awoken with a start, a sharp pain pulsing in her left arm as her eyes began to adjust to the bright light above her. Everything was fuzzy, even after blinking several times, Ryder could not get her eyes to adjust to the space around her. She could hear voices, but had no idea where they were coming from and they sounded like they were underwater, deep and garbled. Something wasn’t right and panic slowly began to set in as reality began to bend around her. 

Sara attempted to move her arms, but quickly realized they were restrained, strapped to a table of some sort. She could shake her shoulders, but it did no good and as soon as she attempted to sit up, hands pressed her back down onto the table. She wanted to talk, but she couldn’t tell if words were being formed so instead, she resorted to her private channel with SAM.

‘SAM! What is going on?! I can’t move, where am I?” 

‘Sara, please remain calm. You are in the medbay, safe, but sick. You have been poisoned, a plant of some kind. You must remain calm, it is not advised that your let your heart rate increase as it will help the poison flow through your blood.’

Sara took a deep breath and settled down, still unable to see more than blinding light and very fuzzy images of color. ‘Okay… Okay… I can calm down… I think.’ 

“Doctor T’Perro, Sara is conscious, but cannot hear or see what is happening. I have managed to calm her, but this effect may not last long. We recommend sedation.” 

Lexi was currently leaning over Sara, lightly bracing the woman’s shoulders down towards the mattress. “Understood SAM.” She released contact with Sara for a minute to retrieve a syringe, injecting the liquid into Sara’s IV. The effect was almost instant, Sara’s body relaxing into the table until no motion was seen at all. 

“SAM, next time you contact Sara, please tell her we are working on getting the antidote from the science team and should have it ready within the next 12 hours.” 

“Acknowledged.” 

The doctor had been alerted to Sara’s condition by SAM the minute the poison’s effects appeared in Sara’s system, shortly after she had fallen asleep. Lexi had not left Sara’s side, keeping her as comfortable as she could with the medication available while the scientists worked as fast as they could for a serum. Situations like this worried Lexi, because as a doctor, it was out of her hands. She paced the medbay constantly, eyes only really looking away from Sara and the machines she was attached to when a message came from the scientists. 

“No… no...mom. Please. Not yet. You can’t… I need you.” Lexi was at Sara’s bedside in a flash, running a scan with her omnitool as the pathfinder continued to speak. “It’s not fair! Damn it!” 

“Pulse rising. Sara’s body can not withstand any more medication. Prepare to restrain her.” Lexi was already one step ahead of SAM, a hand on each of Sara’s shoulders, waiting for movement. Instead, all she could see was Sara’s face, grimaced, sweat forming on her brow as she struggled internally. 

“It’s okay, Sara. Deep breathes.” Comfort was all Lexi could offer at this point. She moved one hand from the Pathfinder’s shoulder to push the hair from Sara’s face. The gesture seemed to calm the young woman, her eyes not twitching as much, her forehead un-scrunching. 

“That’s it. Everything is fine, You’re okay.” She repeated the motion across Sara’s forehead, a calming touch working rather well in this situation. “Just hang in there with me Sara, we’ll get you through this… you have to make it through so I can say I told you so about the plants.”   
Two hours later the scientists appeared, serum in hand. Lexi ran a few tests for anything harmful to Ryder’s body before injecting the liquid into her IV. In minutes the color was returning to the Pathfinder’s cheeks. A few more minutes and Sara’s eyes slowly opened. This time, clear images graced her vision, the first person she found staring back at her was Lexi and she smiled. 

\---------------------

Due to the Pathfinder’s reaction, their Voeld excursion was postponed by two days to allow Ryder to recover all of her strength. It took a great deal of convincing to let Ryder sleep in her own bed, but eventually Lexi gave in, still checking in on her regularly. 

“You know you took my vitals 4 hours ago, not much has changed since, I assure you.” Sara was sitting at her desk, reading through emails as Lexi scanned her. 

“We know nothing of the poison you ingested, being overly cautious is the least I can do.” Ryder smiled, watching as Lexi studied the numbers on her omni-tool. She was so cute when she focused, her brow furrowed slightly as she concentrated on the data in front of her. 

“You’re staring.” Ryder felt her cheeks flush and she turned back to her computer quickly. 

“No...no. Just reading emails.” Lexi chuckled. To be honest, Ryder’s attention was flattering. Having the Pathfinder take interest in you was a compliment by anyone’s standards, even if Lexi had sworn off relationships for the most part. She’d spent a good bit of time thinking about Ryder while the Pathfinder was unconscious fighting poison in her med bay. Harmless flirting couldn’t hurt, right? She’d observed Sara do it with multiple crew members, Vetra, Peebee, Suvi. Maybe it was how she related to others and Lexi was the one who was making a big deal out of nothing. After the poison scare, it was definitely apparent the doctor cared for Ryder beyond being her patient, but how deep that went, eluded Lexi and she was content with that. 

“Uh huh. I wasn’t aware you had such good peripheral vision. Anyway, I am clearing you for Voeld since I can’t lock you in here on the Tempest. Though I will say it’s tempting.” Lexi let the last phrase roll off her tongue with a bit of cheek, some may have even considered it playful, especially with the sly smile she accompanied with it. 

“Oh… interesting… but sadly, duty calls. Pathfinding to do and all.” Sara stood up, shutting her terminal. “SAM, tell the team we suit up in 30 minutes. I am sure Voeld can’t wait to greet us.” Sara turned towards Lexi, a genuine affection in her eyes. “Thank you… for saving my life.” 

It was Lexi’s turn to blush, lucky that her blue cheeks didn’t betray her. “Anytime, Pathfinder.” And with that she exited Ryder’s room, happy and relieved that they had found even footing again, though Lexi was unsure what that meant, if anything.


	3. Thinking About You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a little something before a bigger something. :D

“Ryder, can we go back to Aya… this place blows.” Peebee’s voice was hard to hear even through the comms, the wind whipping around their heads as the trudged through the Kett compound. 

“Agreed! But there’s rem-tech at the end of this journey… that’s worth a bit of pain and suffering, right?” Sara fought hard to take each step, sinking deep into at least two feet of snow, jump jets not even really helping. 

“You know how to make it worth my while, Ryder.” 

“If only my company was worth the trip.” Sara quipped back, smiling as she heard a cute chuckle from Peebee. 

Joking flirtation aside, this place was rather miserable. The well below freezing temperatures made it rather hard to believe this could ever be a viable option for an outpost. Ryder was surprised that anyone wanted to live here, even the angara. 

“Ryder, over there, we are close to the final monolith.” Sara followed the direction Jaal was pointing and saw the large structure through the blizzard they had been caught in. 

“Wasn’t the Nomad supposed to be able to handle all conditions? Getting stuck in snow seems useless.” Peebee glanced back at the vehicle Sara had essentially driven into a snow drift. 

“It’s not far, we’ll dig it out after we activate this monolith.”

“Can I drive? I don’t think the title of Pathfinder also means only driver.” 

“Well the driver side seat heater is broken… so I’m more than willing to…” Peebee interupted Ryder.

“Come to think of it, you’re a fantastic driver, keep up the good work.” She patted the human on the back and began to jog as best she could through the snow. 

“Come on! My crests are gonna freeze off at this pace.” 

The monolith was the easy part, the vault, a whole other story. After digging the Nomad out, the drive was slower than usual, the tires not having the best traction on the ice and deep snow. 

“Sara, I am curious, your crew acts as a family, yes? You all cohabitate?” Jaal shifted forward in the back seat, leaning closer to hear her response. 

“Yes, they are a type of family, for sure, no blood relation, but I’d like to think they have my back.” Peebee smiled and winked at Ryder, causing the Pathfinder to blush slightly. 

“Is their co-mingling? What I mean to say is…” 

“Are people hooking up?” Peebee finished his sentence for him. 

“Ah… I suppose that term could be used yes. ‘Hooking up’ in a romantic nature.” 

Sara was unsure how to approach this topic, but Jaal seemed genuinely interested. “I am unaware of anyone making those sort of… connections.” Peebee of course felt the need to chime in. 

“Nothing yet, though I have on good authority several people who wouldn’t mind getting closer to the Pathfinder.” Sara choked on the air in her lungs, coughing slightly. 

“What? No. Your authorities are wrong.” Suddenly Voeld felt like the warmest planet in Helius. Peebee just leaned back in her chair and laughed. 

“You are more oblivious than I thought, for being a research Sara, you’re pretty bad at observing things.” Before Sara could refute Peebee’s claims any further, Jaal spoke up.

“It is usual to feel an affinity for your leader.” 

“Affinity, uncontrollable lust? Call it what you want.” Peebee playfully jabbed Ryder in the ribs. 

“Right… change of subject yeah?” 

“I forget that humans are not very in tune with their emotions. You are rather guarded.” 

“I’m not that guarded! I open up… a little.” Jaal laughed out loud, causing Ryder to sink into her seat.

“Oh, you do? So Lexi knows you want to jump her?” Ryder was so distracted by Peebee’s statement she almost drove them into another snow drift. Swerving out of the way just in time.

“I believe your actions speak louder than you intended them to, Sara.” Jaal was bracing himself in the nomad as the ride smoothed out. 

“Great… we’re here. Everyone out!” Ryder hopped out of the nomad so fast, you’d think the seat had been made of lava. Anything to get her out of this awkward conversation. She didn’t like the fact that Peebee had picked up on her feelings for Lexi. Sara worried that if it was that noticeable to one squadmate it may have been obvious to the doctor and that was not a situation she wanted to occur. 

“Jeez Ryder, you gonna take on this vault alone, slow down!” Peebee and Jaal jogged over to the Pathfinder who was now stopped at the entrance, waiting for her companions. 

“Sorry, let’s just focus on the mission. Comm chatter to a minimum. That’s an order.” 

“Spoil sport.” Peebee muttered, following her leader into the remnant depths. 

\------------   
Rebooting the purification system on Voeld had drastically changed the temperature to a more manageable cold hellscape, livable even for humans. Another step in the right direction and the Nexus was in an uproar shortly after word of the new outpost arrived. Apparently snow was more preferable to some than the desert of Eos and many were being asked for assignments on the chilly planet. Better yet, the Moshae was back with her people, even if she was not overly happy with Sara for leaving the Kett facility intact. Ryder just couldn’t let the angarans trapped their die. They’d send a unit back to destroy the facility as soon as resources were available. 

“The Moshae isn’t very fond of you at the moment, rescue aside.” Lexi poured herself more coffee in the kitchen as Ryder entered in search of Blast-Os. 

“I know… she is grateful and she will help us, but I couldn’t just destroy the facility. Jaal’s opinion matters too, probably more than the Moshae’s… to me at least.” 

“Understandable. Relationships definitely affect your decisions.” The words carried more weight than the doctor intended, but they fit this situation, so she let the ulterior means slide for now. 

“Yeah. That facility was horrific, Lexi. Just taking an entire people and destroying their race in it’s entirety… without a trace. It’s the worst form of murder…” Sara visibly shivered just remembering what she’d seen. 

“It is awful. I wonder if there is a reversal possible. If we can find evidence of the angaran genetic makeup within the Kett, we may be able to learn more about what this process entails.” The cog’s in Lexi’s mind began spinning as she sipped her coffee, leaning against the counter opposite of where Ryder was seated. 

“You’d need a body, wouldn’t you? To study?” 

“Yes, that would be ideal.” 

“Okay, I can see what I can do.” Lexi smiled appreciatively. 

“Is the facility empty?” Another idea occurred to the doctor and her scientific curiosity was taking over. 

“Yes, we have sent in teams to clear out the remaining Kett and keep any trying to enter out. We don’t want to hear about any more exaltations from that place.” 

“When we return next, I’d like to go to the labs there. There may be some relevant data that could be very helpful in discovering more about this process.” Sara wasn’t sure she liked the idea of Lexi venturing into the place, even after it was cleaned out. 

“Okay, but on one condition, I’m escorting you.” She needed to know that the doctor would be safe and the only way to do that was to accompany her. Lexi took another sip of her coffee and thought for a minute, before nodding. 

“That makes sense, yes.” There was a part of Lexi that was actually excited about the prospect of a planetside adventure. She attempted to dismiss the possibility that a large portion of the excitement came from the idea of Sara joining her. Surely it was just the thrill of new discovery. 

“We have to make a stop at the Aya to drop Moshae off, but after that we can stop back at Voeld. I need to check on the outpost anyway, we didn’t have much time after evacuating the facility. The Moshae was a more important priority.” 

Lexi smiled at Ryder, “I look forward to our journey.” She reached out and squeezed Sara’s shoulder as she exited the room, aware that the gesture was a bit informal, but after two outposts and a large handful of missions, they were past the formalities, weren’t they?


	4. Hang With Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Can't stop, won't stop.

The angaran were far more pleasant after the return of the Moshae. She was such an important figurehead that to be the one that rescued her, definitely secured a place for Ryder in their race’s history books. As much as Ryder had wanted to stay on Aya, there were other pressing issues blowing up her terminal and she had yet to check on the Voeld outpost since making the call to set it up. After a quick refuel and resupply at the Nexus, the Tempest headed back to the frozen planet, glad that the atmosphere had at least warmed up a little. 

The Voeld outpost was bustling with activity when they arrived. There was so much to be done Ryder had to split her squadmates up among the tasks, assigning everyone, but Kallo to missions outside of the ship mostly contained to the outpost itself. 

“I hope you brought something warm, the vault helped stabilize this planet, but it’s definitely no beach resort.” Lexi smiled as she joined Ryder in the loadout room. The Pathfinder was attaching the last of her armor pieces as the doctor opened her gear locker. 

“I haven’t really had a chance to use any of this. Her armor was the standard blue and white of the initiative, but with a medical symbol etched into the back. “I will warn you though, I cannot aim a pistol to save my life. My biotic barrier is sound, but outside of that, if there is trouble, I doubt I’ll be much help unless you get hurt.” Ryder chuckled, trying to imagine Lexi taking on a horde of Kett. 

“We shouldn’t have any issues, several units cleared out the facility shortly after we left and a team was left behind to make sure no one entered the property until we find a way to destroy it completely.” Sara grabbed her helmet and smiled at Lexi. 

“Hope you don’t get car sick. I’ve heard my driving is shit.” The Pathfinder headed back to the cargo bay to prep the nomad for their trip. 

Once Lexi was ready, she and Sara piled into the nomad and Kallo opened the bay, letting them drive off the Tempest and into the snow. The ride was rocky, no matter how good or bad a driver Sara was, there wasn’t much she could do about the conditions. 

“Peebee wasn’t kidding when she said hold on for dear life!” Lexi was gripping her seat as if she was not strapped in, expecting to fly out at any time. Ryder could only laugh. 

“I’m not that bad! But you try driving when you can’t see 10 feet ahead of you and the snow is up past the tires.” Sara could’ve made this a more graceful drive, but she enjoyed pushing Lexi to the edge, just to see her reaction. 

They arrived at the Kett facility mid day, checking in with the team there before venturing inside. Everything looked a bit creepy, freshly abandon, the Kett bodies still littering the floors from their last excursion there. 

“You fought this many?” Lexi was in a bit of shock. She didn’t realize how many soldiers Ryder and her team went up against on a regular basis. “There's easily a hundred here.” 

“This was a very active base, it’s unusual to see this many, sort of.” They moved through the hallways, headed to where SAM had marked the main lab navigation point. The facility, while not letting the wind in, was still ridiculously cold as the power had been cut to ensure no other activity could occur. 

“Should be here... “ Ryder took a left down one corridor and into a large open room, containment pods littering the walls, all empty now thanks to their decision earlier to save the angaran and maybe now Dr. T’Perro’s research could help further the information know about the Kett’s exaltation. 

“Fascinating… Sad… but also, this technology…” Lexi had moved ahead of Ryder and was taking out her equipment to begin initial scans. 

“The unit stationed outside already had a Kett specimen shipped to the Tempest for study, so just take as much time as you need here, we will be destroying this place soon, I’d imagine.” Ryder used SAM to do a few scans around the room before sitting down at a chair near a blank console. 

It was intriguing to watch Lexi work. She was so focused, her mind obviously going a mile a minute as she fluttered around the foreign equipment, even sticking some needles into a dead Kett fresh out of its containment. 

“I wonder what is beyond this station, There appears to be a lot of tubing and wiring headed behind that closed door.” Lexi moved over to the panel near the door and examined it. 

“Not sure, I could get SAM to try and restore a bit of power so we could check it out?” Lexi nodded enthusiastically which made Ryder smile. After a few scans, SAM found a small bit of juice left in a generator on the far side of the room. Ryder used her biotics to shift the unit towards the door, hooking up power supply. The door slid open and Lexi and Ryder entered a small office of sorts. Desks and data pads littered the room, charts with details in the Kett’s language. 

“I think we may have just discovered a breakthrough…” Lexi approached the screens, the generator providing enough power for Lexi to connect her datapad and begin the download.   
“If SAM can translate this, I am sure it will help us discover the exaltation process, maybe there is a way to reverse it?” 

“SAM can review the data back in the Tempest.” Lexi’s data pad dinged, signalling the transfer of the information, however, as they headed back towards the door, the generator failed, shutting the office, everything going dark. The only light came from Lexi and Ryder’s flashlights on their suits. 

“Well shit… SAM, any way you can power up that generator from here? With a boost or something?” Sara was scanning the room, looking for any sign of weakness. 

“Negative. The walls are too thick. This room was made to be secure.” 

“Can you reach out to the crew outside and have them try and restart the generator?” 

“No. I apologize, Sara. There appears to be a barrier that is not allowing signals in or out of this area. I do sense a space beneath this floor.”   
Sara saw what he was mentioning, a hidden panel of sorts. 

“There is sign of life below the panel, Pathfinder. Non-Kett. Appears to be wildlife.” Sara sighed, taking out her pistol. 

“Stand back a bit Lexi, you said you had a decent barrier, right?” Lexi nodded. “Good, we may need it.” Sara used her asari blade to pry up the panel, breaking whatever circuitry was holding it together. Before she could even step foot into the passageway, a challyrion leaped towards Ryder. She was quick three successive shots to the creature's face, Lexi’s barrier appearing around both of them instantly. 

“Can you hold that while we head down?” 

“Yes, just stay close, the smaller I have to keep it, the longer I can hold it.” Ryder nodded, descending down the staircase, Lexi following close behind. The passage was dark and the space tight, smelling of rot and musk. Definitely not something that was used often.

“I wonder where this leads?” They winded down the narrow corridor slowly, Lexi’s barrier providing additional light. 

“SAM, any idea where we are?” 

“It appears to be a tunnel system underneath the facility. There is no power here and you are now under approximately 19 feet of snow and ice.” 

“Perfect… Do you know how to get us out?” 

“I do not have a specific navigation point, however, I can geolocate you in the direction of the outpost. There appears to be several tunnels that lead in that general direction.”

“That’s over 15 miles away…” Ryder could hear the worry in Lexi’s voice

“A little over a day’s walk… but I am not sure we have an option. SAM?” 

“This does seem to be the only option, I apologize Dr. T’Perro.” 

“It’s okay SAM… good thing I wore comfortable footwear.” 

“You can drop the barrier for now, nothing living down here that SAM can detect.” Lexi let out a breath she wasn’t aware she’d been holding and released her barrier, still prepared to pull it out at a moment’s notice. 

They wandered, mostly in silence down the cold hall way as it swerved in multiple directions, SAM assuring them they were on the right path. 

“I am sorry I dragged you into this, Sara, my curiosity got the better of me.” Lexi felt like this entire incident was her fault. 

“What doctor, not a fan of adventure?” Sara always had a way of looking on the more positive side of things, she had to, her job would be far too stressful if she didn’t redirect her worry. 

“I’m not exactly field trained… Too used to med bays and laboratories.”

“Well then here’s to your first Andromeda adventure.” Sara turned towards Lexi, holding up an imaginary cup to the asari. She smiled, raising her pretend cup too, softly tapping their gloves together. 

After several hours of walk, the exertion was getting to both of them. Their armor wasn’t light and walking straight through darkness was a lot to handle.

“Can we stop and take a break?” Lexi leaned up against a wall, sliding down into a sitting position. Ryder mimicked her on the opposite side, their legs brushing together due to the narrowness of the space. 

“We aren’t going to make it back before nightfall… not that seeing is really an issue.” 

“No… and I am exhausted.” Lexi admitted. She wasn’t used to this much activity, walking miles with no end in sight as the cold beat down on her body was taking it’s toll. 

“I suppose we could stop and rest, like take a few hours to sleep, though I am not sure if I could, it’s so cold here.” 

Lexi turned towards the medical kit she’d brought with her and pulled out some emergency ration paste, tossing one to Ryder. “This will help with a little more energy, and I have two emergency blankets here, should keep us warmer than we are now.” 

“Does that kit also have wine? That would both calm me and warm me right up?” Lexi laughed, playfully pushing her leg against Sara’s. 

“Sadly no, no alcohol… but I am glad I brought this. I was starving.” They both consumed their paste and continued the trek, agreeing to stop within the next few hours. Their bodies just couldn’t push through without more rest in these conditions. 

SAM informed them a few hours later that there was a large area where the tunnel forked off. They should take the right side, but this could be a good place to set up for the night. They made their way to this ‘room’ and laid out their blankets for a short nap. SAM agreed to monitor the pathways ensuring they were alerted should there be danger. The ground wasn’t comfortable, but Ryder’s body ached and the relief from simply lying down was worth dealing with the uneven surface 'mattress'.

“Sweet dreams, doctor.” 

“You too, Pathfinder.” As many unexpected turns as this adventure had taken, Lexi was glad she was with Ryder.


	5. Push Pull

“Dr. T’Perro, Sara’s core body temperature is dropping, action is advised.” Lexi woke with a start to hear SAM’s voice. Her eyes darted over to Sara who was curled up in the blanket, shivering, icicles forming on the inside of her helmet. Her suit was running out of power to maintain any warmth. The shivering was a good sign, it meant severe hypothermia hadn’t set in yet. 

Lexi didn’t hesitate, moving to Ryder’s side quickly. She needed to be warmed as fast as the doctor could manage. Humans were not as well adapted to extreme climates like she was. In that moment she remembered something Harry had joked about while working as an Alliance medic back on Earth. An excursion to Siberia had left him and a crew stranded in the harsh winter environment. They’d used their own body heat, ‘stripped down to our skivvies’ he said, sharing sleeping bags to stay warm enough at night. There wasn’t really another option.

“Lexi… I’m s...ss..sso cold.” Sara’s voice was shaking with her body. 

“I know Sara, work with me okay, I’m gonna try and warm you back up.” Ryder nodded slowly. Lexi went to work removing the Pathfinder’s armor as she appeared to drift in and out of consciousness. As soon as Sara was left in just her underwear, Lexi matched her, stripping down to just her undergarments before crawling in next to Sara, wrapping her body and the two blankets around them as tight as she could. The Pathfinder’s skin was ice cold, but she could feel the heat slowly building between them, trapped by the blankets. 

“Just hang in there with me Sara.” Lexi was as close to Ryder as she could be, the pathfinder’s head tucked into the nape of her neck. Slowly, over time, Sara stopped shivering. Even Lexi could notice the difference in temperature now that they were sharing blankets and heat. 

“Lexi?” Sara’s eyes opened slowly at first, adjusting to the low light left from their suits in the corner of the room. “What…” Before she could say anything else she realized the position she was in and her cheeks flushed. “Um… Dr. T’Perro?” Lexi breathed a sigh of relief.

“Thank the goddess you’re alright. I guess Harry wasn’t exaggerating when he told me of this method.” Sara looked up, puzzled expression gracing her face. “You were showing signs of hypothermia. I had to elevate your body temperature to safe levels, sharing body heat was the fastest method at our disposal.” Lexi smiled as she heard Sara swallow. 

“So just a medical necessity? Not my dreams coming true… good to know.” It was Lexi’s turn for her cheeks to warm. Now that the danger was past them, it was a rather intimate position they found themselves in. Lexi enjoyed the closeness, she’d be lying to herself if she thought otherwise. But what she could convince herself of was that it was simply the touch of another body she enjoyed, not specifically who was touching her. It had been a very long time since she’d been this close with someone, medical necessity or not. 

“Not quite. But if it helps, we do get a few more hours of sleep.”

“Like this?” Lexi nodded. “Good.” Ryder settled into the asari, wrapping her arms around the doctor, pulling her a little closer, as if it was possible. 

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were taking advantage of this situation.” Sara chuckled and looked up, blue eyes locking with hazel. 

“Is that a bad thing?” Her voice was soft and her tone serious. It froze Lexi in place, the way she was looking at her, it left her speechless. This wasn’t the Sara that flirted with everyone she encountered. This wasn’t just playful banter between friends, it was so much more expressed all in one look. Sara’s gaze tore right through Lexi, shaking her very core. She had no response. No words would come, instead she just dipped her head down, capturing Sara’s lips with her own, catching the other woman completely off guard. 

This was happening, here in this dark tunnel. Dr. Lexi T’Perro was kissing her. Surely Ryder would awake in a hypothermic stupor at any moment. But she didn’t wake up and Lexi didn’t stop kissing her. So Sara kissed her back, letting the passion that had been building up inside her for weeks pour forth through her lips, hands and whole entity. 

Lexi wasn’t thinking straight, her senses filled with the Pathfinder, the feeling of the other woman’s body against her own clouding all judgement. She was supposed to be a professional, to not get entangled in this, but here she was, completely and utterly tangled up in Sara, the exact opposite of what she’d swore to herself she’d do. She should pull away, apologize, tell Sara they couldn’t do this. Instead, she weaved her fingers through the Pathfinder’s hair, kissing her with a need that surprised even her. 

Sara needed this, she needed Lexi. All pain from the cold seemed to evaporate as Ryder rolled on top of the asari, sliding in between Lexi’s legs as she deepened the kiss, bodies moving together under the warmth they’d created with the blankets and each other. 

However, Happiness never lasted long in Andromeda and the sound of a crash, caused the two to practically jump apart, Ryder going straight into protective mode, pistol pointed towards the noise, positioning herself between Lexi and the origin of the sound. 

“Ryder!” Cora’s voice echoed throughout the tunnel, a beam of light shining down the pathway towards them. 

“Cora, down here!” Lexi stood up quickly grabbing her suit, unable to look at Ryder, as the Pathfinder met Cora halfway. 

“Why aren’t you wearing your suit?” 

“I was hypothermic and Lexi was using body heat to keep me warm.” Peebee poked her head around Cora’s shoulder. 

 

“Damn, doctor, that’s smooth. Can I borrow that trick sometime.” Lexi shot Peebee a death glare over Ryder’s shoulder and the younger asari backed away, hands raised. 

“Sara’s vitals are stable now, but it is suggested she be moved to a controlled environment to avoid relapse as soon as possible.” SAM’s voice bounced off the walls in the tunnel. 

“Understood SAM. Come on you two, toss your suits on and meet us up top, we’ve got a shuttle waiting.” 

Cora helped Ryder and Lexi with their equipment and lead them up the hole they’d drilled into the ice. 

“We found your signal, weak, under the surface. SAM calculated a spot and we started digging. We were all worried when you both didn’t returned at nightfall.” Lexi nodded, curled up in the corner of the shuttle blanket wrapped around her body, thankful for the actual warmth of the contained space. 

“We need to investigate these tunnels, the one we were in leads very close to the outpost, we can’t afford any surprises, but the trip wasn’t a bust, Lexi got some really good data on the Kett’s exaltation process.” Sara looked over at the doctor and smiled, however, Lexi didn’t return the gaze, instead, her eyes stayed locked outside the small shuttle window. Sara almost wished she was back in the cold wasteland, it felt warmer than sharing this shuttle with Lexi did at the moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everybody get aboard the angst train with me!


	6. Better in Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A bit short... be kind to me.

The rest of the ride was quiet, silence suffocating Sara. The one thing she’d wanted since she’d met Lexi had finally happened, only to be torn from her in an instant. She wanted to confront the doctor to ask her what had changed in the light of day that had suddenly made everything different, but now was not the time or place. Instead she sunk into her seat, blanket wrapped around her body as she stared out the opposite window. 

Back on the Tempest, Lexi gave her data to Suvi for analysis and headed into the medbay, doors shutting and locking behind her. She collapsed at her desk, both physical and emotional exhaustion taking control over her body. Even with the silence between her and Sara, she still hadn’t managed to get her bearings around the situation. They’d kissed, passionately or more importantly she’d kissed Sara. This was her fault, she was the reason she’d crossed the line she’d vowed never to even get near. 

Looking across at her terminal she noticed a note under a cup of what looked like hot tea. 

“I’m sorry. - Sara”. Lexi lifted her fingertips to her lips, remembering what it felt like to kiss Ryder, to feel their bodies pressed together. It had been overwhelming but in the best way possible. Lexi wasn’t even sure what would’ve happened had they not been interrupted. She was the one that should be apologizing. No matter how much she may have wanted that moment with Sara and so much more, she couldn’t do this again. Doctor’s shouldn’t date patients and the Pathfinder’s mission couldn’t be compromised, not like this with everything at stake. 

“Um… Sara, can you see me in the med bay.” She knew the Pathfinder would be in her quarters, it was where she hid most of the time. Within minutes the doors of the med bay opened and Sara stood, dressed in her casual attire, pants and a hoodie. She looked sweet, comfortable. 

“You don’t have to apologize.” Lexi broke the silence, gesturing at the note. 

“I do. I don’t want you to ever feel uncomfortable around me… and it’s obvious you do.” Sara could even sense it now, the way Lexi kept her distance, as if an imaginary wall was erected between them. 

“I don’t. I promise. It was as much my fault as yours. I kissed you. It was unprofessional and I apologize. It will not happen again.” Her resolute was as strong as it could be, looking at Sara standing too close even now, several feet away. 

“I want it to happen again.” Sara uttered the sentence with the same sincerity in her eyes that had gotten Lexi in trouble in the first place, but this time they were not half naked pressed against each other. It was easier to say no.

“It can’t, we both need to focus on the mission at hand, not on each other.” 

“I can multitask.” Her words had a more playful tone to them and Lexi wished she could’ve been playful too. 

“No. It was a mistake. A lapse in judgement. It won’t happen again, Sara. I hope you’ll understand.” Lexi’s words were a lot colder than she’d intended them to be. She could tell because Sara’s expression dropped, her body looking as if all the air had been expelled from her lungs with one punch. 

“A mistake as in you didn’t want it to happen?” Sara’s voice was small, almost a whisper. Lexi took a long breath before answering.   
“Correct.” She wasn’t correct, she’d wanted to kiss Sara, in fact, she wanted nothing more in this moment to wrap her arms around the other woman and taste her lips again, but her resolve kept her in place, even if it hurt her to see Sara in pain. 

“I understand, Doctor.” Sara’s voice was ice cold, biting as she turned and exited the medbay without another word.

\------------- 

“SAM. Do not let me be disturbed for tonight. I need rest.” 

“Understood Pathfinder, locking your quarters.” 

Sara moved to look out of her window, running her fingers through her hair as she stared out into space. How could a day be both the best and worst? Ryder felt a tear roll down her cheek, but she quickly wiped it away. Pathfinders couldn’t cry about this, there was too much else on the line, a failed romance, if you could even call it that, should not be what upsets her. 

But it did. Sara had resigned herself to being friends with Lexi, the doctor being unavailable to her. But when she kissed Sara, all of the protections the young woman had built around her and their friendship came crashing down. Sara had no idea where to start to rebuild. She certainly didn’t have the energy now. She moved over to her bed, crawling under the large comforter, letting the fabric construct a protective barrier around her. For a night, she didn’t want to be the Pathfinder, she just wanted to be a girl with a broken heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyone need a hug? I do.


	7. Apologize

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Special thanks to theglob again for helping me with this story!)

Sara awoke with a severe pain in her left foot, the light of day barely peeking through her large window. “Shit…” 

“Pathfinder, there seems to be a lack of circulation in your foot.” 

“Thank you for stating the obvious SAM…” Sara hadn’t really taken any time to check on herself outside of changing into normal clothes from the mission. She swung her feet over the edge of her bed and bent down, removing the sock from her left foot. “Great… just great…” Her two smallest toes were swollen and blistered, discoloration very evident along with a strong burning pain. 

“Should I call for Lexi?” 

“No!” Sara was quick to answer. She couldn’t see the doctor yet, especially not if she needed something. It may have been childish, but she just wasn’t ready. 

“SAM, how far away are we from the Nexus?” 

“Two days travel time, Pathfinder.” 

“Great… Can you please tell Suvi to come to my room.” 

“Yes, Sara.” 

Within minutes the scientist was standing in Sara’s quarters. 

“Everything alright, Sara?” The Pathfinder shook her head. 

“Um… slight problem.. How squeamish are you?” Suvi quirked her at the odd question. 

“I used to dissect things all the time… for science. I have a pretty strong stomach, why?” Sara didn’t answer, just pulled her sock off, showing Suvi the damage.

“Sara! Oh my!” Suvi was at Sara’s side in an instant, leaning down to inspect the damage. The scientist grimaced, a look of sympathy pain crossed her expression. She reached out to touch the hard surface that was beginning to lose coloration.

“This almost looks like stage 4 of frostbite, Sara! Does Lexi know?” The Pathfinder shook her head, guilty expression on her face. “If you expect to save these little ones, we need her help.” 

“I can’t… I don’t want her to know.” Suvi was even more confused now. 

“She’s a doctor, Sara. It’s her job to know these things. She’d murder us if we kept it from her. Are you two fighting?” Sara sighed, gently lowering her foot onto the ground. 

“In a way…” 

“Is this about the time you were both missing? Peebee mentioned there were… well… you were in a compromising position…” Suvi was sweet in her shyness and she’d always been so kind and caring. Maybe Sara could at least be honest with her.

“We kissed… I… I really like her, but when we got back she made it clear the feeling was not mutual…” 

“And this is worth losing your toes over?” Suvi’s brow furrowed, genuinely bemused by Sara’s stubbornness.

“I know it sounds ridiculous, but is there anything you can do… I will see Harry as soon as we get to the Nexus. I just want to keep this under wraps until then…” Suvi sighed, shaking her head at Sara. 

“The big bad Pathfinder can face an army of Kett or the Archon, but rejection from a girl, that is her weakness…” Suvi chuckled. “Sorry, that was mean of me. I understand though and if you want my two credits, Lexi is crazy not to go for you.” Sara smiled. Suvi always knew what to say to make her feel better, it was just the way she treated Sara as an equal and it didn’t hurt that they had a playful relationship. 

“Yeah well, she’s definitely not interested… So I applied medi-gel, but I doubt it did anything….” 

“I’ll be right back, I have some items in my room that would help, things I carry when accidents happen on excursions.” She was back relatively quickly, syringe in hand. 

“This won’t do much, but it will help take the swelling down and alleviate some pain.” Sara nodded, giving Suvi permission to administer the drug. Sara couldn’t feel her toes, so she didn’t even notice the needed in her foot. 

“It won’t cure it, but I brought a heat pad as well, keep your toe wrapped, warm and dry, it will burn, but it’s the best you can do until we have a doctor inspect it… I still think we should have Lexi look at it, she may be able to help.” Sara shook her head. “That pride might have you walking funny for a while. But it’s your call since it’s not life threatening.” 

“Thank you Suvi, you’re the best.” Sara pulled the scot into a hug and pressed an appreciative kiss to her cheek before she slid back on her bed, elevating her foot on the heat pad. “Can you just tell everyone I am still resting for the day?” It took Suvi a minute to process what Sara had said, her mind going blank after feeling the Pathfinder’s lips on her skin. 

“Sure thing, Sara. I’ll check on you later.” Suvi smiled and left the Pathfinder alone. As doors shut behind her she reached a gloved hand up to her cheek where Sara’s lips had been just moments before. “Just my luck…” Suvi had figured Sara’s eyes were for the asari doctor, but that didn’t mean she hadn’t hoped time and Lexi’s ‘no relationships with patients’ status wouldn’t change things. Apparently they had only gotten worse. At least Sara trusted her to keep a secret and now she knew there would be nothing between Sara and Lexi. She wasn’t happy that Sara was sad, but at least it meant maybe with time to heal… Suvi shook the thought from her head and returned to her post on the bridge. 

\---------------

The next two days were long, the pain in Sara’s foot only increasing, both toes now black and blue. She was being an idiot, she knew that much, but she couldn’t bring herself to go to Lexi. Besides, Dr. Carlyle was waiting for her at the Nexus. He thought it would be just to see her brother, but he was a medical professional too and one she had no interest in bedding so her pride was safe. 

Sara hadn’t even seen Lexi since their talk, both of them remaining in their rooms mostly. Sara had taken a few vidcom calls, but outside of that she’d kept to herself to hide both her internal and external pain. Docking at the Nexus, Sara carefully wandered off, trying to hide her limp as she made her way to the medbay. 

“Dr. Carlyle! Hello!” Sara practically collapsed on the bed next to her comatose brother. The pain in her face evident. 

“Pathfinder, are you okay?” He was at her side instantly. 

“Not exactly, ummm could you remove my boot, left one.” Harry worked quickly and carefully, sliding off her boot and sock. 

“Sara! What happened? Does Lexi know about this?!” He inspected her toes, stage four frostbite evident. 

“Ummm… no. It’s complicated… She and I aren’t really on speaking terms.” He looked up confused. 

“What? Why? What happened?” 

“I’d rather not get into it? If we could just have this taken care of, I’d greatly appreciate it.” 

Harry directed his attention back to her injury, sighing as he inspected the black toes. 

“Under normal circumstances we would see if medication and time would help bring back some of the tissue, but you don’t have that sort of time to be in that kind of pain… the other options is amputation. With cauterizing and medi-gel, you could be up and moving again in about a week.” 

“I choose that one. Whatever you need to do, do it.” Harry sighed. Lexi wasn’t going to like this if… or more like when she found out. There was no way the Pathfinder could hide this from her. She’d be on bed rest for at least a few days, even with medicine as advanced as it was, walking would not be easy at first. 

“Okay… let me prep a room. You stay here. Feel free to talk to Scott. SAM can open a channel for you again. Should be more stable this time, he’s doing well, almost better than you.” He left the room heading to the operating bay. 

“Hey Scott!” 

“Jeez Sara, you scared the shit out of me.” 

“I am getting my toes amputated…” 

“What?” 

“Yep, frostbite, see what you’re missing. Good times all around.” 

“Do I even want to know what happened?” 

“Probably, but that’s a story for another time, little brother. I miss you.” 

“You’re gonna miss your toes more, those are important.” 

“I’d hit you right now if you weren’t in a coma.” 

“Lucky me. But seriously, how is it going?” 

“Better than expected, We founded another outpost and are close to a third, we’re making this place livable Scott. I wish dad could see it.”

“Yeah, me too… I want to see it too. I can’t wait to be out of this coma.”

“Yeah, you’re starting to put on bed weight…” 

“Now I wish I could smack you.” 

“Doctor’s coming back. Time for surgery say goodbye to my baby toes.” 

“Bye Sara.” 

Harry walked over to Sara and stepped to one side, revealing a very irate Lexi standing behind him. 

“Shit.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dun dun dunnnnnnn. :D


	8. Sick of Losing Soulmates

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Just remember, you commenters asked for this...)

“Frostbite… you decided to keep that hidden from me? And for what purpose, Sara? Your pride? This is what I was worried about! Your judgement is clouded. We can’t afford to just be cutting off parts of our Pathfinder just because she can’t be in the same room as her doctor!” Lexi was furious, pacing the operating room while Harry gave them privacy to speak. Though it was less speaking and more Lexi yelling. 

“How could you be so stupid? Nothing like this is ever worth your health!” Sara sat on the table, stunned. She knew Lexi would be mad, but fuming, raging even. She never expected this reaction. 

“I’m… I’m sorry. You’re right.” 

“It’s too late to admit that now. Be glad that I’m not performing the operating, I may take off more than just two toes….” She headed towards the door. “I am asking to be replaced on the Tempest.” Her tone has shifted, it was softer, but still firm. 

“What? No, the Tempest needs you.” Lexi didn’t turn around, eyes still on the door. 

“No, the Tempest needs a doctor that the Pathfinder will trust with their care. That is no longer me.” Sara didn’t care about her foot anymore, she stood up, moving quickly to stand between the door and Lexi. 

“Don’t please. It’s not just me that needs you, the whole crew. You’re part of the Pathfinder team, you leave and everything changes.” Sara grimaced, pain shooting up through her leg. “Please Lexi, stay. I promise I won’t keep anything hidden from you again.” 

Sara reached up, shutting the slightly opened door Lexi was about to exit through. They hadn’t spoken in days, but Sara knew that losing Lexi wouldn’t be felt by just her. It would change the whole crew dynamic and they couldn’t afford that sort of uncertainty and she definitely didn’t want her off the ship. Lexi looked up, hurt in her eyes. 

“I can’t Sara. It’s too dangerous. There is no guarantee you won’t do this again because of something else that happens between us. I’m sorry. I will be here taking care of Scott. Harry is taking my place.” The truth was laid out bare in front of them. If Sara had handled things better, maybe there would be another solution, but she could see the determination in Lexi’s eyes. The doctor wasn’t changing her mind. 

“You will be so missed, Dr. T’Perro.” Sara was doing her best to hide the fact that she was breaking a little on the inside. Over the past few months, Lexi had become more than just the crew’s doctor, she was Sara’s friend and the Pathfinder knew for a fact, that there were others on the Tempest that felt the same. And here she’d messed it all up over her feelings and pride.

“I will miss you too.” Lexi smiled softly before exiting the room, moving somberly down the hall until she knew she was relatively alone. She lifted a gloved hand to her face and wiped away the moisture that had accumulated on her cheek. It took several minutes for Lexi to gain her composure before she dialed the Tempest, requesting her things be sent to her Nexus apartment. 

\--------------  
The surgery was quick and painless for the most part, Sara had enough drugs to numb most of her left leg. Vetra arrived at the med bay to escort her back to the Tempest for recovery. Harry would be following shortly to begin his post. 

“So… Lexi’s gone huh? Scared her off?” Sara didn’t look up at Vetra, eyes trained ahead. “No comment. Jeez Ryder, what happened? People are scrambling to join us and you managed to get someone to leave.” 

“Enough!” Sara didn’t usually raise her voice, so Vetra was taken aback by the tone. She was about to reply angrily, but the pained look in the Pathfinder’s eyes halted her. 

“I’m sorry. Are you okay?” 

“No. But I don’t want to talk about it.” Vetra nodded as they continued to walk in silence. Vetra must have relayed the Pathfinder’s mood to the crew, because most people left her alone, politely acknowledging her presence but letting her be for the most part. Suvi, however, knew the backstory and met Sara in her cabin shortly after she settled in. 

“Sara? May I come in?” 

“Yeah, of course.” The doors slid open and the scientist walked in, taking a seat across from Ryder on the couch. 

“Did you want to talk about it?” Sara sighed, running her hands through her hair. 

“She thought I was acting too reckless because of her, said it was better that she leave so nothing else happened.” Suvi nodded. 

“I’m sorry. I know that can’t feel good.” Sara shook her head, sinking deeper into her chair. 

“It fucking sucks, if you want the truth. Lexi is the best doctor on the Nexus and because I couldn’t keep my fucking hormones in check, I lost her.” Suvi stood up and moved over to Ryder, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder. 

“Yes, you should’ve told her, but it’s done now. And maybe it was for the best, you really can’t be distracted, not yet, there’s still so much to do. We are setting course for Kadara in the morning, that world is not very friendly. You have to be on your toes… all 8 of them.” Suvi chuckled, Sara reaching out to playfully hit her. 

“Thanks, Suvi. You’ve been really great through all this. It really means a lot.” Sara stood up, tugging the scientist into her arms and hugging her. Suvi didn’t mean to position herself here, to be the shoulder Sara leaned on. It was placing her between a rock and a hard place, the scot attempting to navigate her own feelings for Sara while helping the Pathfinder figure things out seemed mischievous somehow. She needed to take her own advice.

“Not a problem, Sara. I am always here if you need to talk.” Suvi smiled as she pulled away from the hug. “I’ve got to head back up to the bridge, stop by if you’re bored, it’s not a short trip to Kadara.” She smiled and exited the cabin. 

\-----------

Kadara was a nasty port of call. The streets were covered in grime, the people not much cleaner, but Sara couldn’t blame them. The past year had been hard on everyone, they were doing the best with the cards they were dealt. It felt a bit reminiscent of Omega in too many ways. 

“Sloane’s office is over there through that door. Drack and I have some matters to attend to, don’t wait up and don’t piss her off, she’s not someone you want to have as an enemy.” Vetra patted Ryder on the back before walking down an alleyway, Drack in tow. It was better if Ryder had no idea what that was about. 

She made her way through the streets, stopping at a few vendors for some random supplies before finally gaining access to see Sloane Kelly. She was a piece of work that was for sure. Something had really ticked her off about the Initiative and there was no working with her. The turian right hand man, however, he could be an asset. 

After chatting and picking up a bit of intel, Sara gathered Vetra and Peebee and headed out in the Nomad. Kadara wasn’t actually the worst of the planets they had landed on, minus the toxic water. 

“Hey Ryder, How are the 8 toes. Missing their fallen comrades?” Peebee chuckled at her own joke, Vetra smacking her in the shoulder. 

“They are fine thank you very much.” 

“You miss her?” Vetra smacked Peebee again. 

“Ignore her Ryder, she didn’t take her medication this morning.” 

“Please! It’s the elephant in the nomad. And if you can’t share with friends, who can you share with.” Vetra placed a hand over her eyes. 

“I’m fine, Peebee. Lexi wanted to stay at the Nexus, so she’s on the Nexus. I won’t talk about it again.” Sara’s tone was probably harsher than intended, but she needed Peebee to know that subject was off limits. 

“Right… got it. Still sensitive.” Peebee raised her hands up as if surrendering. The rest of the ride was relatively quiet and for that Sara was grateful. 

Sara didn’t want to spend too long on Kadara, but the world had other plans for her and there was too much Kett activity to ignore. On their second week stationed there, Sara needed a break. She’d been working straight, following leads from a man named Reyes while trying to stay on Kelly’s good side.

She entered the bar, order a shot and a glass of wine and headed to a side table, reclining back into the chair. 

“This seat taken?” Sara looked up and smiled.

“By you.” Suvi shook her head, grinning as she sat down across from Ryder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mad Lexi is terrifying... and isn't Suvi just in the right place at the right time... Huh. Odd. ;)


	9. Other Woman

“What brings you planetside, you didn’t pick the best one to visit.” Sara took a sip of her wine. 

“Actually it is one of the safer ones, sadly. I don’t do well with extreme temperatures, Eos was too hot, Voeld was too cold, this place seems just right, plus there’s a bar!” Sara laughed at her enthusiasm. “I also wanted to check on you. You’ve been pretty quiet the past few weeks.” Sara nodded. 

“I know. Just getting through it all, I’m feeling a little better though? Keeping my mind off of my mistake by throwing myself into work. It’s doing the trick.” 

“I’m glad, you deserve to be happy Ryder.” Suvi chastised herself internally, knowing how lame that sentence sounded. 

“Thank you… so do you, you know? How come I haven’t heard any rumors about you? Peebee talks about everyone’s business and I’ve yet to hear a peep from her about you. Too busy with your true love: science?” Suvi laughed nervously. 

“Yes, in many ways that’s the case.” 

“Ah, shame, you’re a catch. Any guy or gal would be lucky to have you.” 

“Gal… is my preference.” Suvi’s eyes darted down into her glass of wine. 

“Oh… well just something else we have in common.” Sara smiled and raised her wine glass. “To new beginnings and fabulous friends.” Suvi raised her glass tapping it to the Pathfinder’s. Friends, it wasn’t the word Suvi wanted to hear, but she wasn’t surprised. Sara’s intentions were directed at someone else and even with Lexi gone, it seemed she was still on Ryder’s mind. 

“Come on… let’s dance, I’m not very good, but I can do better than that guy.” Sara pointed to the male turian alternating his hands in the air, back and forth a bit out of time to the music. 

A few hours of dancing and several glasses of wine later, Suvi and Sara emerged from the bar, stumbling back to the Tempest, holding each other up as the moved. 

“I’m gonna feel this tomorrow.” Sara knocked into a post on the dock. “Fuck…” Suvi just burst into giggles, trying her best to guide Sara back, even though she knew she wasn’t much better. 

Finally on the ship, Suvi agreed to walk Sara to her room. They ended up flopping onto the couch, collapsing into a fit of giggles, neither one could remember what was so funny. 

Suvi rested her head on Sara’s shoulder, leaning against the Pathfinder. 

“This was a good night… a great night.” The scot smiled, nuzzling Sara’s neck probably a bit too much, but Ryder didn’t stop her. 

“It was. I needed this, just to let go. Thank you.” Sara leaned over and placed a kiss on Suvi’s forehead. Suvi’s filter was long gone, she couldn’t help but let a content sigh escape her lips. 

“It’s you… you haven’t heard the rumors about who I like because it’s you.” Sara straightened up a little. 

“Sorry. Not what I should’ve said, can we blame the wine?” Sara shook her head as Suvi glanced up. “Please?” Sara shook her head, instead leaning down to place a soft kiss on Suvi’s lips. The scientist froze for a minute out of shock before coming to her senses and kissing Sara back. 

This wasn’t happening, it shouldn’t be happened, but damn it, if it didn’t feel good. Suvi didn’t want to pull away, but she needed to, no matter how clouded her judgement was. “Wait… wait…” She shifted away from Sara, their lips still close. “We’re far too drunk for this. I want to remember kissing you.” Sara rested her forehead on Suvi. 

“I get that.” She placed a soft kiss on the scot’s forehead and leaned back into the arm of the couch, tugging Suvi with her. The redhead let herself relax into Sara’s embrace and soon they were both fast asleep. 

“The day shift is beginning Pathfinder.” SAM’s voice pulled Sara from her slumber, a raging headache greeting her. She was curled up on her couch, a blanket tucked around her body but no redheaded scot. She glanced around her room and found it empty. It appears she’d been left at some point in the night. She stood up and stumbled into her personal bathroom, tossing back two pills to quell the pain in her head before changing into a new set of day clothes. Just as she was about to exit her cabin the doors slid open and Suvi stood there with two cups of tea. 

“Oh Sara, you’re up. Good. Drink this, bit of an old Scottish remedy my nan taught me.” Sara smiled and took the cup from her, sipping slowly. 

“This is good.” 

“Don’t ask what’s in it. Better keep it as a mystery.” 

“Oh kind of like how I mysteriously woke up alone tucked in on my couch.” Suvi shook her head and giggled. 

“You looked too peaceful to wake up, besides, I’m more of a morning person than you are. And unfortunately, I can’t stay, I’m needed on the bridge, but Vetra wants to see you in the cargo bay.” Sara nodded and followed Suvi out of her room. Before they parted ways, Ryder reached out gently pulled the scientist towards her, placing a chaste kiss on her lips. “See you later.” 

Sara definitely had a pep in her step as she poked her head into the cargo bay. 

“Ryder, you look like you had a better night than expected. When I ran into you and Suvi last night I didn’t think I’d see you until next week. You were both plastered.” Sara shrugged her off. 

“I can handle my wine pretty well. What did you want to see me about?” 

“We’ve got a supply request from the Nexus, a few Kadara specific items they need, something Addison only trusts the Tempest to carry, not sure what she’s referring too, but sounds important.” 

“Alright, send the specifics to my email, I’ll read through them there and respond.” Vetra nodded. 

“You sure you’re okay, something feels different about you…” 

“She probably got laid!” Peebee shouted from a panel above the nomad deck. 

“I’m going to eject you and your bedroom into space.” Peebee cackled and resumed reading her datapad. 

“Oh… oh… that would make sense.” Vetra inspected Sara more closely. “Interesting.” 

“No one got laid Vetra… at least not me!” She said the last part a bit louder so Peebee could here. 

“Well it wasn’t me!” The asari shouted back.


	10. Another Love

They were on Kadara for another week before finding a breakthrough, a Kett transmitter, something that could lead them to hitting the Archon head on. Sara was tired of his interference. He needed to be dealt with. It was clear that as long as the Kett were around, Andromeda wouldn’t be much of a home. 

“Time to hit boneface where it hurts!” Liam was pumped, prepping all the gear before they headed into the Kett’s main ship. It was extremely risky, but they had no choice. Sara picked Vetra and Drack to get her into the heart of Archon’s operation. 

Finding the Salarian Ark and Pathfinder were a bonus, but a short lived one as Raeka, the Salarian Pathfinder sacrificed herself to save her people. Ryder couldn’t let Drack’s people be exalted. Just like she had to die to save Vetra and Drack. She was just lucky enough to have SAM directly implanted into her very core. Maybe this was what Lexi had warned her about, being distracted led to making certain decisions and it was hard to tell if those were made with the best judgement. Raeka was the last original Pathfinder, but Sara chose to save scouts because she knew it would mean more to Drack, someone she cared about. It was all so complicated. 

“You died… SAM killed you?!” It was obvious Suvi was upset, but there was nothing Ryder could do about it. The scientist was pacing back and forth, practically wearing a hole into the floor panels.

“I’m okay, he resuscitated me.” 

“And if SAM failed? What then, you were killed by an AI. I just don’t want to lose you.” Sara smiled, placing a soft kiss to Suvi’s lips, stopping her in her tracks.

“You’re too sweet. But I promise you, I’m fine. SAM looks after me.” The scot sighed and and let Sara drag her onto the couch. Suvi pointed at the SAM node. “Fine. But SAM, you kill her I will find a way to end you.” 

“Understood, Suvi.” 

“We’re gonna be late to your celebratory dinner you know?” Ryder allowed her body to sink a bit deeper into the cushions of the couch. “I hate these things, all the talking.” 

“Come on, I’ll help you get ready.” Suvi tugged the Pathfinder up and set about making her presentable. 

The party was rather uneventful. After a speech and some drinks, Sara managed to sneak out, leaving Suvi and the rest of the crew to let loose. She retired to her Cabin, taking in the peacefulness of the quiet that surrounded her. That was of course interrupted by shouting coming from the medbay. She’d thought the Tempest was empty, but she was wrong.  
“How could SAM do that?! What if he hadn’t been able to bring her back? I can’t stand this Harry. I hate sitting on the Nexus just waiting for an update. It’s killing me.” 

Sara listened at the door, leaning against the metal structure, obviously locked.

“Sara is safe now. SAM brought her back, it was necessary.” 

“Death should never be necessary!” 

“Lexi, she is safe. You know, I don’t even know why I agreed to this. It’s obvious you need to be here. This is your crew, I feel like a stowaway. Even Peebee said she missed you… in a Peebee sort of way.” She heard Lexi laugh and the sound filled Sara’s chest. 

“You know I can’t come back. It’s too dangerous.” 

“For Ryder, or for you? At some point you have to let Rachel go, Lex.” 

Rachel? Ryder racked her brain, trying to think if she knew who they were referring to, but nothing came up. Before she could hear anymore she heard footsteps headed in her direction. Ryder quickly darted down the hall and into her cabin, the doors sliding shut just as the medbay’s opened. 

“I’ll think about it… but that’s all I can give you. Just… take care of her, please.” Harry pulled Lexi into a hug and then she exited the Tempest. 

She had missed Lexi more than she’d let herself feel. Just hearing her, no matter how angry, was music to Sara’s ears. She wanted to burst out of her room, beg Lexi to stay, tell her that she belong here, but her feet were glued to the floor. Instead she just listened as the Tempest doors opened and closed again signalling Lexi’s departure. 

At around 2:30 in the morning Sara felt Suvi slide into bed next to her, the scot tucking herself in the crook of Ryder’s arm. It was nice, to feel her curled up here. Suvi was easily the sweetest person Ryder had ever met. She was selfless, intelligent, sexy. So why was someone else haunting Sara’s thoughts as she laid her head down? 

 

\---------------------  
It only took them two weeks to find Meridian, thanks to Suvi’s calculations and SAM’s handy work. The night before the attempt, Ryder was up after everyone had been fast asleep. Even Suvi was curled up in Sara’s bed, quietly snoring. 

She was sitting at her terminal flipping through emails when a message buzzed in the bottom corner. 

Lexi: Even though it’s no longer my responsibility. You should be sleeping. 

Sara couldn’t help but smile. This was the first contact they’d had since the fight. 

Sara: You should tell Harry he is slacking on his duties. 

Lexi: Oh you know I will. 

There was a minute of silence between them and then Lexi began typing again. 

Lexi: How are you actually doing, Ryder, I mean really... 

Sara: I miss you. 

There it was in words on the screen. No taking it back now. She waited, nervous when she saw that Lexi was typing back. 

Lexi: I miss you too. 

Sara leaned back in her chair, trying hard to wipe the smile from her face, but it wouldn’t budge. She shouldn’t be this happy, it didn’t mean anything more than Lexi missing her. But it was a start right? A start to what, she wasn’t sure. Sara looked back at the woman in her bed and sighed. 

Sara: I should get some sleep, doctor’s orders I hear. ;) 

Lexi: Goodnight Sara.

Sara: Goodnight Lexi.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Extra points for someone if they can tell me where the Mass Effect trilogy dialogue is in this chapter and who originally said it :D


	11. Deeper

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The answer to the "Guess that Quote" in the last chapter was "Lexi: How are you actually, Ryder, I mean really... ". Liara from Lair of the Shadow Broker - "How are you actually doing, Shepard, I mean really, not what you tell your squad to keep morale up." Good job to KnightAngel015. Thank them for this chapter!

“Sara!” Scott wanted to get up and hug her, but he was still woozy, losing his footing only to have Sara catch him. 

“Careful their little brother.” 

 

“Aren’t you supposed to be the one with horrible balance, missing toes and all.” Scott jabbed Sara in the ribs. 

“Yeah, shut it.” 

“He’s doing well, should be cleared in a week or two.” Lexi approached the two siblings, eyes locking with Sara. 

“Hey.” 

“Hello.” 

The world stood still for a moment in time. Both women blocking out the background noise of machines whirring and people bustling about. It had been far too long since they’d been this close. 

Scott looked at Lexi and then back at his sister. 

“Anyway… it’s good to see you Sara. Lexi tells me you’re close to catching this Archon guy. I read the data. Please be safe, you’re all I have left.” Sara’s trance was broken by her brother’s voice and she reached out ruffling his hair in just the way he hated. 

“On second thought… “ Scott chuckled. “I just wish I could be there with you, I feel useless here.” 

“You’re not, and you’ll be back out there before you know it.” 

“Not soon enough, alright, I won’t keep you, go play hero.” He reached over and pulled her into another tight hug before letting her stand up. 

“Thank you, for watching over him.” Sara wanted to say more, but what could she tell Lexi that she didn’t already know.

“Of course. Be safe, Sara.” 

“Aren’t I always.” She winked at Lexi and headed out of the medbay and back to the Tempest. 

\-----------  
Tracking down the Meridian was a tall order, but Suvi knew her stuff. She stayed up night after night in Ryder’s room, at her desk plugging away with SAM until they finally uncovered the information they needed to retrace the steps of the remnant artifact. 

“Bed now?” Ryder took Suvi by the hand and tugged her towards the comfort of the mattress. “We’ve got the equations right, we need sleep, I need sleep.” Suvi smiled, Sara, placing a soft kiss to her lips. 

“Okay, okay. Pull my leg… or I guess my arm in this case.” The scientist moved over to the side of the bed she had claimed the past few weeks. Removing her gloves, overcoat and pants before sliding into bed next to Ryder. Sara was asleep almost instantly, curled up against the scientist. Suvi wasn’t sure how she’d gotten so lucky. Here was the Pathfinder, wrapped up in her, about to save the initiative yet again. She didn’t want to overanalyze it, but it was too good to be true, wasn’t it? 

\-----------

All they had to do now was travel back into Khi Tasira send the ships through the scourge plot Suvi and SAM had figured out and they could finally unlock the key to making the Helius cluster a real home. Of course, nothing was ever easy and Sara led the Archon right to what he wanted. 

“Sara!” Vetra called out to the Pathfinder as she collapsed onto the console. “Drack, see if you can get that door open!” The Krogan slammed into the metal surface, not even denting it. 

“Tempest, the Pathfinder is down, we need support!” Drack slammed into the door again, still no result. 

Sara took a deep breath, sitting up with a start.

“SAM…. He’s… he’s gone.” 

Vetra moved over to Sara, helping her up.

“We need to get back…” Sara stumbled over to the console, her hand slamming into the remnant tech. It caused the door to shake, but no movement. Ryder screamed out in pain.

“Sara, you can’t interface without SAM.” 

“We need to get back…” She pushed her hand into the console again. Pain shooting through every nerve in her body. This time the door moving a bit more. 

“Just one more time Ryder, focus.” Drack was standing at the door, hoping to get his hands in. 

Sara pushed her hand into the console again, harder, this time the door sliding open as pain shot through her entire system, causing her to stumble back, Vetra catching her. 

“Come on, here we go.” Vetra held her up and Drack moved to the other side of her, helping Sara move out of the city. 

“Tempest, the Pathfinder is up, but she needs medical assistance, she’s been interacting with remnant tech without SAM.” Suvi came over the comm system. 

“They’ve taken the Hyperion, just get Sara back here safely!” 

“We are moving as fast as we can.” Vetra grumbled into the comms. 

A few tunnels and doors later and they were out at the entrance, the Tempest crew meeting them.

“My god, Ryder, are you okay?” Suvi was at her side in an instant, Harry not far behind. 

“You can’t interface without SAM, it’s too dangerous.” Harry administered a shot to Sara, attempting to stabilize her vitals. 

Ryder couldn’t process anything much less hear half of what people were saying around her. Her left ear was bleeding, as if a loud noise had busted her eardrum. She wasn’t sure what pushed her forward, something in her body telling her that she wasn’t done, not yet. 

One more console interface, she had to help, the Archon had her brother, the entire Hyperion… Lexi… She was on the Hyperion with Scott. He held everything and everyone Sara cared for in his hands and she was determined to break him.  
With one last interface into the console in front of her, she cried out in pain, the blood now dripping from her nose. Harry, Suvi and Cora ran over to her just as the Remnant ship rose from it’s resting place. 

“You did an impossible thing...” Peebee watched as the ship glided up and then across their field of view. Harry had to hold Ryder up with the help of Cora. 

“We need to get her into the medbay now.” 

“We’re not throwing anyone’s lives away, but the Remnant give us a chance worth taking. Everyone one of you has people in Helius you care about, we need them with us. Not to throw at the Archon, I’ll make the Remnant do that. We’re fighting for the lives we’ve built. That only matters if there’s someone left to live them.” 

Sara was never good at speeches, but her words came from deep within, from the thoughts of her brother, Lexi and all of those people in danger. She needed her team to rally with her or there was no way they were going to stop the Kett.

The crew began to chatter, inspired by their Pathfinder, putting calls out to everyone they knew who could lend a hand. Harry stayed at Ryder’s side as well as Suvi, helping the injured Pathfinder into the medbay. 

Losing connection to SAM had damaged Sara badly. Harry had stopped the bleeding of her ruptured eardrum, but there wasn’t much he could do outside of pain management before the crew was headed into battle. 

After being checked out by the physician, Ryder headed back to her room, finding Suvi typing away at her terminal. 

“Hey.” The redhead turned at the sound of Sara’s voice and stood up, moving to wrap her arms around the Pathfinder. 

“Are you okay? God, Sara, I was so worried.” She kissed her sweetly. 

“I am okay… I can’t hear out of my left ear, but outside of that…” Suvi reached up and placed a soft hand over the bandaged injury. 

 

“I need to know that you’ll be okay, that you’re going to come back.” 

Sara didn’t know if she was going to come back, not just to Suvi but at all. She was tired, her body breaking from inside out. Ryder was barely held together, but she knew no one, not even Suvi needed to hear that. They needed hope, someone to rally behind. There was no time for anything else. 

“We will defeat the Archon. This is our home now.” It was a neutral response, she knew that. Sara couldn’t promise Suvi she’d make it out, not when she wasn’t sure. 

“I know we will… we have something he doesn’t, you.” Suvi placed a long lingering kiss on Sara’s lips. “We have 10 hours before we reach Meridian. Come to bed? Rest with me?” Suvi let out a yawn. 

“Let me finish a few things and I will.” Suvi nodded, kissing her again before crawling under the sheets. 

Suvi was fast asleep in minutes, but Sara couldn’t rest, her mind refused to calm down. Instead she read the reports from the science team responding to communication as it came in.

\---------

The Hyperion was in a state of uproar, the Archon and Kett boarding had sent everyone into panic. Scott was already up and putting on gear when Lexi entered the room. 

“You can’t go alone Scott, you’re not strong enough.” Lexi was at his side, checking his vitals. 

“The Archon severed SAM’s connection to Sara. If we don’t send a pulse to her, she will die Lexi, I can’t lose her…” Lexi’s heart dropped into her stomach.

“No… we can’t. I am going with you.” Lexi grabbed a pistol from the gear rack. Scott knew why Lexi wanted to help so he didn’t even try and stop her. 

They moved down the hallway to the console SAM was guiding them towards, people running in the opposite direction as they headed towards the Kett. Two of the monsters rounded the corner and Lexi fired a Stasis field in their direction, Scott shooting them down before they could even raise their guns. 

Running as fast as they could, they dodged several bits of gun fire, Lexi using a biotic throw to send two Kett crashing into a set of benches. 

“The console is to the left.” She motioned to the room they were passing. Scott ducked in and Lexi remained a few feet away, pistol in one hand, biotics ready in the other. 

“Don’t let Sara see how talented you are in combat, she’ll drag you on every mission.” Scott chuckled as she made inputs into the terminal. 

“Doesn’t sound like a bad life to me.” She smiled back at Scott. 

“Hey Doc, I hate to do this to you, but Sara would kill me if I put you in harm’s way. She cares about you… a lot.” Scott moved towards Lexi, “If we survive this, don’t kill me later, yeah?” The Doctor was confused until the Pathfinder’s brother shoved her into the side room, locking the door in between them. 

“Scott!” 

“It’ll release in ten minutes. That pulse gave the Archon my position, He can’t take us both… Tell Sara I love her, will you?” 

“You tell her yourself!” Lexi fumbled with the panel, but the override commands had been set. All she could do was listen as Scott was taken by the Archon’s minions. “Shit…” 

Ten minutes later the room opened up, but Scott was long gone. Lexi headed back to the medbay to assess injuries and damages, but everything was mostly intact. The Kett had left after retrieving Scott and locked themselves on the bridge. Now the Hyperion staff and crew were just hostages, awaiting their fate. 

Lexi attended to as many as she could, but there was only so much she could do. After everyone was triaged, she found a terminal and sat down to compose an email. 

Sara,

I am not sure if or when you will get this, but I needed to tell you I was sorry. You mean more to me than I think you’ll ever know and I should’ve just jumped into the breach and trusted that you’d catch me. If we survive this, come find me.

-Lexi

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright guys, we are in the home stretch. This will be the last chapter tonight with a full conclusion to this story by the end of the weekend! Thank you so much for all your kind comments, they mean the world to me!


	12. Unrequited Love

The ride to Meridian wasn’t easy, but with Remnant ships at Ryder’s beck and call, they stood a chance. Sara was still lost without SAM, but she had to push on, too many people were depending on her. They dropped down into Meridian with no time to spare, using the nomad to cross to the Archon’s location. The Pathfinders had gathered their teams, protecting the Hyperion.

“Captain Dunn, come in! What is the status of the Hyperion?” Sara knew the Archon had left with Scott, setting the ark on a crash course into paradise. Her thoughts went to Lexi, stuck on a vessel headed for land at such an alarming rate, it was almost certain there would be casualties unless Dunn could pull off some kind of miracle. 

Sara knew that she should be more concerned for the people aboard the Hyperion as a whole, but her heart ached at the thought of losing Lexi. They were just getting back on the right track and if the Archon took her from Sara, she’d be sure to take everything and everyone that he held dear away from him. 

“Just get out of our way.” Dunn ordered everyone back to the med bays and she did her best to pilot the ship to safety. Lexi was manning the med bay doors, ushing people in and making sure they were all bracing for a rough landing, one they may not survive. As the last people entered the secure rooms, holding onto pillars and tables, The doctor shut the doors, bracing herself against a handrail. She closed her eyes and tried to breathe, slowly, in and out. Her mind blocked out the noises of the Hyperion’s panic, thoughts drifting to Sara. She remembered their first conversation in this very room and how the doctor had found the Pathfinder far too charming and quite beautiful. 

Lexi vowed in that moment that if she survived and Sara succeeded, that she would find her, take that leap and never look back. They came to Andromeda for a fresh start, maybe Sara was hers. 

“I’m good, the pods are safe.” Dunn’s voice over the comm system sent a wave of relief crashing over Ryder.

“Excellent work Captain.” Ryder let out a breath she’d been holding. Lexi had made it, she was sure of it, now she just had to make sure she too survived or all of the initiative’s work had been for nothing. 

Sara turned her attention to the Archon, taking Vetra and Drack into the center of Meridian with her, dealing with the Archon’s ‘distraction’ with ease. The room where he was holding Scott was large, definitely the control center of the entire planet. She hated this creature, the leader of the Kett that believed he was going to be their salvation. They didn’t need saving, the initiative had proved they were more than capable of saving themselves. 

Wave after wave of enemies fired upon them, Remnant and Kett alike, but they were no match for the Pathfinder’s team. Seven milky way aliens took down Archon’s entire arsenal in a matter of minutes. As soon as the Archon himself fell, Sara was at her brother’s side. 

“Hey little brother.” Sara knelt down beside him in the chair, on hand on his arm. “You were great. I am so sorry you had to go through this.” Scott smiled and placed his hand over his sister’s. “You did it, I was just an accessory.” Sara shook her head and stood, reaching down to help him up before pulling him into a tight hug.

“You’re always more than that and you know it. Come on, let’s see what our new home looks like.” As she slipped her arm around his waist to prop him up, he grabbed her pistol and fired the rest of the clip straight into the Archon’s face. 

“Bastard.” Sara shook her head, smile on her face. “Come on.” 

The Meridian online meant the Helius cluster was saved, atmospheres with livable planets beyond their wildest calculations. Everyone was ecstatic, cheers could be heard from all corners of the synthetic planet as life sprang forth as if created from thin air. 

As the team exited the vault, Harry came and took the weight of Scott off Sara’s shoulders. Ryder scanned the sea of people before her, eyes landing on hazel, a smile creeping up on her face. She turned to move towards Lexi, the desire to wrap her up in a tight hug was causing Sara’s skin to itch, making everything tingle. 

She was about 10 feet away from making her desires a reality when she was hit with an excited redhead practically running her over, arms thrown around her neck. Suvi grabbed Ryder’s face, placing several hard kisses to her lips, excited to have the Pathfinder back in one piece. 

“You did it Sara! The readings are off the charts, you pulled off the impossible!” Instinctively, Sara’s arms curved around Suvi’s and she pulled her eyes off of Lexi to look at the woman in front of her. 

“We really did it….” Sara smiled about to say something else when she felt Drack’s fist collide with her back.

“Good job kid!” The team surrounded Sara, congratulating her as others cheered. Everyone except Dr. T’Perro, who hung back, now half hidden behind a Remnant pillar, unsure whether to stay or go. Seeing Suvi greet Sara like that, with such confidence, passion… it was obvious, in her absence she’d lost her chance. Someone else was where she’d long to be, on the arm of one Sara Ryder and no amount of emails confessing feelings or late night chats would change that. Lexi didn’t wipe away her tears this time, instead, letting them flow down her cheeks. 

As soon as Sara could see past the throngs of people, she looked towards the area she’d first seen Lexi, only to catch a glimpse of the doctor walking away. Ryder wasn’t sure where she was going, but she knew she had to find her. At least she couldn’t get far, there wasn’t that much space in Helius. 

\--------------  
It took two full days, but Liam had planned the perfect party,clearing out the entire lobby of the habitation deck to decorate it to the nines. Lights were set up, a bar, a dance floor, tables of food off to the side. The gig was strictly invite only, the Pathfinders and their teams, the leaders of the Nexus and others essentially in saving the Initiative. Even Sloane Kelly was expected to make an appearance. 

“You look mighty dapper in a suit.” Suvi was helping Sara with the cuffs of her jacket, fixing a few creases before stepping back and admiring her handy work. “You clean up nicely…” Suvi leaned forward, pressing a sensual kiss to Sara’s lips. “I was beginning to think I’d never get you out of bed for this… do you at least feel rested?” 

“I haven’t slept more than 6 hours at a time since I woke from stasis. It was heavenly. Thank you for understanding my need to completely crash.” Ryder reached up and tucked a strand of hair behind Suvi’s ear. 

“Of course, you deserved it, but tonight you’re all mine.” Ryder giggled and moved over to her desk, checking her appearance in the mirror before deciding she looked presentable. 

\------------

The habitation deck was packed, people from all of the arks filling in the space, eating, drinking, and dancing. Sara was still a bit dazed from everything. Her hearing was still not 100% on her left side, but Harry had assured her she would gain at least 20-40% back if not 100%. Not having an immediate task to accomplish made Sara feel rather out of place. She hadn’t talked to anyone outside of the Tempest in two full days and if she was honest, the only reason she was here was to see Lexi. 

She and Suvi got drinks and found a table near the dancefloor with Vetra, her sister and Drack. 

“Ryder, you look good for a squishy!” Drack laughed and downed a glass of some dark liquid. 

“Drack… you’re wearing… well the same shit you wear every day… wait, did you polish your Kett bones?” Sara chuckled and he playfully slapped her back. 

“Hey, have you guys seen Lexi yet? She’s the only one that’s been MIA since we got to Meridian.” Vetra shook her head, but Drack spoke up. 

“Yeah, she’s over there with Kesh, probably talking about repopulation and stuff I don’t want any part of…” Sara followed Drack’s gaze and smiled, spotting Lexi standing near the bar, drink in hand, wearing a beautiful white dress that hugged that almost looked painted on. There were slits in the side panels revealing shades of deep blue skin and a slit that went so high up her leg it almost rode up past her hip. Ryder had never seen her in anything other than her uniform outside of the dark tunnel they’d spent the evening in, and at the time she’d not be able to really take in all of Lexi. She was stunning and the Pathfinder was mesmerized. Luckily Vetra noticed before Suvi and brought Sara back to reality by stomping on her good foot. 

“Fuck!” The table looked at Sara, confused, minus Vetra who shot Ryder a knowing look. “Oh… Um… hit my injured foot on the table…” 

“Aww, are you okay?” Suvi placed a caring touch on Ryder’s shoulder. 

“Yeah… just stung a bit.” 

“Suvi, might I steal your date for a moment, I’ll return her, I promise.” Suvi giggled at Vetra’s formal request. 

“Of course! But I should warn you, she’s a horrible dancer.” 

“Hey!” Vetra shrugged and tugged Ryder away from the table and onto the dancefloor. The height difference was rather vast between them, so when the slow song began, Ryder placed her hands on Vetra’s waist. 

“Why are you doing this?” Sara knew what Vetra was talking about, but she wasn’t sure she was ready to answer that question. 

“Umm… No idea?” The turian shook her head. 

“Bullshit. Suvi really likes you but you’re staring at Lexi like she’s the last person in Andromeda. You don’t look at Suvi like that… she’s going to notice if she hasn’t already.” Ryder sighed, leave it to Vetra to hit her with the hard truth. They swayed back and forth before Sara spoke.

“I don’t know what I am doing, honestly. Suvi is so sweet and it feels good to be with her, it’s nice… but Lexi just confuses everything. When I see her, it’s like my world stops and everyone else doesn’t exist. It’s shit Vetra. Because Lexi doesn’t feel the same, she made that very clear.” 

“I’d shake you right now if I could get away with it, but you’re too much of a hero in this room. Somebody would toss me out of the airlock.” Ryder laughed. “Lexi hasn’t taken her eyes off of you since you walked in, idiot.” Sara felt her cheeks warm at the thought, but surely she was mistaken. 

“Thank you for humoring me, but it’s really not helping.” Vetra sighed and spun them around a little quicker than the tempo of the music would suggest used the hands resting on Ryder’s shoulder to turn the Pathfinder’s head towards the bar. Blue eyes met hazel for a brief moment before Sara looked back at Vetra, not wanting to be too obvious. 

“See…. For being a savior of a whole galaxy, you sure are dense.” 

“Thanks Vetra… this really doesn’t help though… Suvi’s been my rock through all of this and Lexi… shit… I want her to be my everything.” Vetra really felt for Ryder, she could see the emotional rollercoaster that the Pathfinder was struggling with and hated that nothing ever seemed simple for her. 

“This is the part where I should say follow your heart or whatever silly idioms humans have that have a certain lame ring to them… but I don’t think that really helps, so I’ll put it like this. Who would hurt more to lose, because in this situation, eventually, you will lose one.” 

Sara looked over at Suvi, the scientist laughing with Sid and Drack, her bright red hair as vibrant as she was and then there was Lexi, engaged in deep conversation with Kesh, looking beautiful, but beyond the exterior, Ryder felt a tug, like a rope attached to her chest, practically pulling her towards the asari. 

“I don’t envy you Ryder… just be sure you figure it out before you lose them both.” The turian ruffled her hair in a playful manner and left her alone out on the dancefloor. 

\--------------------

She needed air, a moment of peace to think away from the crowds. She excited the Habitation deck and wandered to the bridge. It was empty, all the systems running on autopilot since the crew was enjoying the party. Meridian was beautiful, it’s green lush mountains and valleys rolled on for what seemed like eternity. 

“I’d be easy to get lost out there…” Suvi’s voice interrupted the silence in the room.

“Yeah… it really would.” Sara turned towards the scientist. “We need to talk…” Suvi approached the Pathfinder. 

“No we don’t. I know, Sara. I’ve always known. Wishful thinking just sort of took over…” Ryder reached out and took Suvi’s hands in her own. 

“I’m an ass…” Suvi laughed. 

“No, you’re not. You’re sweet, brave, and kind… just a bit oblivious.”

“But I dragged you through all of this when I knew deep down I had feelings for someone else.” 

“What? You treated me with kindness, affection and passion. Poor me.” Suvi laughed and brought a hand up to Sara’s face, lifting the Pathfinder’s eyes to meet her own. 

“It’s okay, I promise. I will be okay.” 

A tear rolled down Sara’s cheek as she spoke. “I’m still so very sorry…” 

“I know you are.” Suvi gently wiped away the droplet. “And I know I’ll miss you… I’ll miss this…” Suvi leaned in and placed a soft kiss on Sara’s lips, lingering a moment as if to say goodbye before pulling away. “But you can’t help how you feel.” 

“No… I don’t think she feels the same, but I can’t do this to you anymore…” Suvi shook her head and chuckled. 

“I don’t see any of this as amusing.” 

“You really don’t know how she feels about you? Here.” Suvi picked up Sara’s arm, activating her omni-tool. “Read your emails sometimes, yeah. I was trying to help you get through all the spam thank yous from everyone this morning… ran into one from her. I should’ve told you this morning, but I was thinking selfishly… I wanted one more night.” The sadness in Suvi’s voice was evident and it twisted Ryder’s heart. She glanced down and began to read Lexi’s email. 

Sara,

I am not sure if or when you will get this, but I needed to tell you I was sorry. You mean more to me than I think you’ll ever know and I should’ve just jumped into the breach and trusted that you’d catch me. If we survive this, come find me.

-Lexi 

She looked at Suvi, tears welling up in her eyes. “I… thank you… for telling me about this.” 

“Should’ve done it sooner… but…” 

“Hey… I get it.” Ryder typed a few things into her Omni-Tool and soft music began playing from the bridge’s comm system. “One dance? You are still my date after all.” Suvi smiled, her eyes now watering. 

“I would really love that.” Sara placed her arms around the scientist’s waist, tugging her close as they began to sway. 

“You, Suvi Anwar, are an amazing woman and I am so lucky to have you as a part of my life, and while I can’t be the one to make you happy, I know that person is out there and they will be so blessed to call you theirs.” Now both women were crying, not even trying to hide their emotions. Suvi leaned forward, kissing Sara one last time before resting her head on the Pathfinder’s shoulders. 

“Thank you Sara… for everything.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two more chapters to go after this, I do believe :D Thank you all for sticking with me on this journey!


	13. Latch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The final chapter! Epilogue to follow :D

As soon as the doors shut to the habitation deck, Lexi pushed Sara against the nearest hard surface, crashing their lips together once more. She needed to taste all of Ryder, her scent was intoxicating. How had they ever been apart? Lexi felt like if she stopped touching Sara, she’d explode. 

“Sara…” Hearing her named moaned against her mouth drove the Pathfinder wild, her hands slipping through the open side panels of the doctor’s gown, gripping the flesh under her fingertips, nails anchoring Sara to Lexi. 

“Tempest is too far…” Ryder could barely speak, but she knew there was no way they were making it back to the ship. If there wasn’t a 99.9% chance someone would see them, she’d have taken Lexi right then and there against the wall. But there were too many people around.

“Okay… okay…” Lexi’s voice was heavy, her breathing labored as she tried to uncloud her mind. “Follow me.” Sara nipped at Lexi’s bottom lip before letting the asari lead her down the hallway to the tram. 

It was taking all of Sara’s willpower to not tackle Lexi to the ground, her skin was buzzing, alight with desire, a yearning that had been built for months and suppressed for too long. 

Sara’s hands gripped Lexi’s hips from behind as soon as the tram doors shut, ghosting kisses down the nape of the doctor’s neck, teeth grazing blue skin. 

“You’re making it hard to choose a floor.” 

“So don’t.” One of Sara’s hands held Lexi in place, keeping her backside tight against Ryder’s front, while the other glided upwards, slipping into the window of exposed skin across Lexi’s chest. The tram began to move, but neither of them noticed. 

“Sara….” Ryder could feel Lexi’s chest rise and fall under her touch. 

“I need you.” Lexi’s back arched at the whispered words, sending shivers down her spin. She had never felt so desired and she had certainly never wanted anyone as much as she wanted Sara in this moment, as much as she had wanted her for months. 

Ryder’s kisses became more hungry, teeth biting down, leaving dark love marks across her neck. Lexi actually found herself hoping they would stay, she wanted everyone to know she was claimed. 

The tram came to a halt and the doors to the bridge opened. There were a few people milling about, but for the most part it was rather deserted. 

“Where are you taking me…” 

“To the best view on the Hyperion.” Lexi turned and kissed Sara, a bit more playful, but still deep, with promise. The doctor slid her hand into the Pathfinders, interlocking their fingers. Even an innocent touch such as this caused Lexi’s skin to vibrate. 

They reached the door to the main section of the bridge, and the doctor took Sara’s arm, using the Pathfinder’s omni tool to open the room.

“SAM, lock the door after us, no one is to enter until we leave.” 

“Understood, Pathfinder.” The doors slid shut behind them. The bridge had been damaged in the crash, but overall, it was mostly intact. Lexi could feel Sara close behind her, the Pathfinder’s hands dancing across the exposed skin of her hip as the asari moved towards the large window overlooking the edge of the cliff the Hyperion almost slid off. 

Ryder placed a trail of kisses down Lexi’s neck, hands holding the doctor firmly against her. The asari moaned at the contact, her hands bracing against the console at the very front of the bridge. Sara couldn’t take much more of this, she needed all of Lexi or she knew she’d explode. Ryder spun Lexi around, pressing her body against the asari as she captured blue lips with hers. 

Sara was intoxicating, each moment the Pathfinder was touching her was pushing Lexi closer and closer to the edge, her body on fire. “Please… Sara… I need you.” The words were moaned against Ryder’s lips as she slide a leg between the doctor’s grinding her hips against the asari’s center. Lexi’s hands wove into Sara’s hair, pulling a handful as her hips bucked into Ryder. 

The friction wasn’t enough, no matter how hard she rocked against Sara, Lexi wanted more. “Sara… fuck…” She couldn’t ignore the doctor’s need, she picked her up, placing her down on the console as she tugged the slit of Lexi’s dress to the side. There would be time to enjoy her body later, right now they both needed release. 

One hand wrapped around Lexi’s lower back, holding her in place as the other slid between her legs, fingertips connecting with her wetness. Sara let out a moan when she felt how turned on Lexi was, and this was all for her. Ryder slipped two fingers into Lexi’s folds, curling upwards as the asari’s hips pitched forward, attempting to drive Sara deeper inside. 

Sara’s heart was racing, Lexi’s moans sending her whole body into overdrive. With her free hand she grabbed the edge of the fabric window at the center of Lexi’s dress and tugged, ripping the cloth, exposing the doctor’s chest. The Pathfinder’s mouth trailed rough kisses down the nape of her neck, past her collarbone until reacting blue erect nipples. Taking one in her mouth, she sucked gently at first, her tongue running over the engorged flesh. 

“Goddess, Sara. Harder, please.” Ryder slipped another finger inside Lexi, pushing deeper as she sucked hard at the sensitive skin under her lips. The doctor’s hips began to rock faster, Sara’s hand wrapping around Lexi again to hold her on the console, giving herself leverage to keep their rhythm going. 

Lexi had never felt so full, so whole as she did when Sara was inside of her. This was the release she’d needed and as the waves of her orgasm began to crash over her, she tugged Sara’s mouth upwards, slamming their lips together in a searing kiss, calling out Sara’s name against the Pathfinder’s mouth at the peak of her climax. 

Ryder rode Lexi’s orgasm all the way to the brink and back, her tempo only slowing down as the doctor’s hips began to calm down. Sara held the asari close to her, fingers still inside of Lexi as they both caught their breath. 

“Sara…” Lexi’s kisses were softer now, but her grip on Sara was tight, making sure their bodies were touching as much as possible. “I needed that… I needed you for so long.” Sara smiled against Lexi’s lips, pulling her fingers out slowly, causing the asari’s hips to shake with an aftershock. 

Ryder let out a breath she’d been holding, wrapping her arms around Lexi, holding her as the world stopped spinning. She’d dreamt of this moment, maybe not on the bridge of the Hyperion, but everything about this felt right, as right as the first time they’d kissed. There in the silence, Sara’s thoughts floated back to their night in the tunnels. A slight sense of worry arose, making her chest feel tight. 

“Are you sure this okay?” Sara’s voice was soft, almost a whisper. Sara couldn’t handle losing Lexi again, not after a moment like this. The doctor knew what the Pathfinder was feeling and pulled back, hazel eyes locking with blue. 

“You are who I want, Sara and this is so much more than okay. I’m not running from this any more, I couldn’t even if I tried.” Lexi closed the distance between their lips, sealing her statement with a passionate kiss, Sara’s worry fading away, only to be replaced with desire. 

Lexi’s hands slipped down Sara’s back, pulling the Pathfinder in between her legs. “You’re far too clothed…” The doctor reached up, beginning to unbutton Ryder’s suit just as SAM spoke. 

“Pathfinder, an incident has broken out at the party, Sloane Kelly attacked Tann. No injuries, but your presence is requested. I apologize for the interruption.” Sara sighed, resting her forehead against Lexi’s. “It never ends…” 

“Let’s get this cleared up, then you’re mine for the rest of the night.” Lexi slipped off the console, but continued to unbutton Sara’s jacket. 

“Since you were impatient and ruined my dress, this is mine.” She tugged the jacket off of Sara’s shoulders and slipped it on over her dress, covering the torn front panel and leaving the Pathfinder in a skin tight shirt. Lexi reached out, letting her hand travel down Sara’s stomach. “You’re beautiful.” Ryder swallowed, the desire evident in Lexi’s eyes made every inch of her body shiver. 

“Come on… any more of that, and I won’t make it back to the party.” Sara interlocked hands with Lexi and the exited the bridge, heading back towards the habitation deck. 

The party appeared to have continued, even with the event SAM mentioned, but the higher ups were all crowded in a corner, surrounding a bloody and bruised Tann, and a Sloane in restraints. 

“Take them both out of here, find us an office, no one else needs to let this ruin their party.” The two guards nodded and Sara moved over to Kesh. 

“What happened?” 

“Tann overstepped and Sloane threw a couple punches, little lizard didn’t even think to duck…” 

They continued to talk as they followed the guards down the hall. 

“Pathfinder!” Tann wanted to protest to Kesh’s simplified explanation, but Sara silenced him. 

“You’ll get your turn Tann, head of the initiative or not, you and I both know this doesn’t look good for you. Kesh, continue, please.” 

“Tann made a couple jabs at the Krogan, in his roundabout political way, even said the exiles wouldn’t be let back completely as long as he was in charge… so Sloane decided she’d heard enough and clocked him… a few times.” Lexi was attending Tann, making sure there was no real damage. 

Kandros confirmed that Kesh had been telling the truth, so as they entered the office, Lexi checked on Sloane while Kesh, Kandros and the other Pathfinder’s conversed. 

“Where’s Addison?” 

“She left a little while ago, not feeling well, apparently it’s been awhile since she’s had a drink.” Sara nodded. 

“They are both uninjured beyond minor cosmetic issues.” Lexi joined Sara by her side. Kesh smiled as she noticed now that they were settled, Lexi wearing the Pathfinder’s jacket. She owed Drack 100 credits. 

“She needs to be thrown in jail, she’s the one who assaulted me!” Ryder moved and got in Tann’s face. 

“Shut it for once, Tann and listen. I did not spend blood, sweat, and tears to bring us all together, exiles included for it to all go up in smoke because of a stupid bar fight, head of the initiative or not, your prejudice got you into this mess, a prejudice you should’ve left in the Milky Way. And fuck your protocol… I don’t care if you’re 8th in line. We won’t get anywhere if the person in charge is a bigot like you. This is a new start and we need to treat it like one.” Sara moved away from the Salarian and looked at the rest of the room. 

“I was never a fan of the council, but we need something in place where everyone has a voice, all races from Krogan to Angaran.” Lexi smiled at Sara. Even with such little experience, she had come so far. She was magnificent and she was hers. 

“I agree! Each race needs to select a representative, Milky Way rules no longer apply here.” Kesh grinned, so glad that Ryder had come when she did. 

“That is insane! The protocol…” It was Kesh’s turn to get in Tann’s face. 

“I can tell you where you can shove that protocol…” Any color Tann had in his face drained instantly. Sara tried to stifle a laugh. 

“But for now, Sloane, hands off Tann yeah?” 

“For now…” Sloane stood up and moved over to Kandros, raising her restraints. Sara nodded and he released her. 

“Back to the party everyone, politics can wait until tomorrow.” They all moved out, some heading back to the celebration, Tann, pride obviously wounded, headed back in the direction of the Nexus. 

“Alone again?” Lexi stepped over to Sara.

“Not nearly alone enough.” Ryder gestured to the people milling about. “Tempest?” Lexi nodded, kissing Ryder sweetly before leading the way. 

The Tempest was certainly empty, no one bothered them the entire walk back to Ryder’s cabin. Sara moved over to the sound system and turned on something soothing as Lexi examined the model ships on the wall. 

“My dad used to collect them… kind of a habit I sort of picked up.” Sara moved to stand behind Lexi, arms wrapping around the asari’s waist. The doctor turned to face Ryder, a slight sadness in her eyes. 

“Hey, are you okay?” Lexi smiled softly. 

“You’ve been through so much in such a short time… I just wish I could’ve been there for you more… I ran because I was scared. I care about you so deeply.” Sara cupped Lexi’s face, bringing her close and placing a soft kiss to her lips. 

“You’re here now, now matters. This…” Sara touched the spot over her heart and then pressed her hand to the same area on Lexi’s chest. “Matters the most.” 

Lexi’s body warmed at Sara’s touch, leaning forward and kissing her again, this time not pulling back, deepening the kiss as she slipped Ryder’s jacket off, letting it fall to the floor as she moved them both towards the bed. Lexi only broke the kiss to pull Sara’s shirt over her head, gently pushing the Pathfinder onto the bed. 

“I want to see you.” The Doctor pulled off what was left of her dress leaving her bare for Sara to see. In any other circumstance, this position would make Lexi feel vulnerable, exposed, but when she locked eyes with Sara, seeing the raw desire in her gaze, Lexi felt confident. 

She playfully pushed Sara back onto the bed, unhooking her belt and zipper with a rather swift single motion. After tugging the pants down Sara’s legs, letting them hit the floor, Lexi stood back, taking in the sight before her. 

“You’re beautiful.” Sara blushed at the compliment, reaching out and taking Lexi’s hands to guide her on top. The minute their skin connected, both of their biotics glowed, enveloping the room in a soft blue glow. Lexi could stay here forever, revealing in the soft skin beneath her, but she needed to please Sara, the yearning to hear Sara moan was too strong. 

Lexi used her hips to spread Ryder’s legs, slipping between them as she kissed her, tongue darting out to taste Sara. The Pathfinder moaned as the asari tilted her hips down, brushing against Ryder’s core. 

“Sara, I… I want to meld with you… please?” Lexi’s mind was already instinctively reaching out to Sara’s, needed to feel more connected to her than the physical realm would allow. She’d only melded with one other person and thought that she’d never do it again, but Sara had changed all of that for her and Lexi wasn’t sure if she’d ever feel whole again if she didn’t join with Sara.

“Please… yes. It’s always yes, Lexi.” Sara had heard of melding and knew it could be considered an extremely intimate action. She’d do anything to feel all of Lexi. 

Everything went quiet. Sara could still feel Lexi, their bodies pressed together, as if they were in bed, but somewhere completely different at the same time. She even swore that the doctor was pleasing her, the feeling of Lexi’s fingers inside of her causing her hips to rock. 

‘This is all ours and I promise to give you all of me. Sara. I love you.’ Lexi could feel the emotions as they hit Ryder hard, excitement, passion, love, trust, all pouring forth at once and covering them completely. It was as if there was a chain between them connect the very depths of their beings to each other.

‘I love you, I always have.’ Sara didn’t speak the words, but Lexi heard her loud and clear. They were wrapped in each other completely, both here and physically. Sara took a deep breath, taking in all of Lexi as an orgasm washed over her body, the asari anchoring her to this world, riding out Ryder’s pleasure, only bringing her out of the meld as they both floated down from their high. 

Sara shuttered as Lexi slid her fingers out from between Ryder’s legs. The doctor let her body fall slightly to the right of Sara, keeping their skin touching as much as she could. 

“You are mine now, as I am yours.” Lexi’s voice was husky, the sound sending goosebumps across Sara’s skin.

“Does this mean you’ll come back to the Tempest?” Lexi chuckled. 

“You won’t be able to keep me away.” Lexi nuzzled into the nape of Sara’s neck. “I found my new home.”


	14. All of Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for going on this journey with me! I love these characters and I am sure there will be more down the line!

“Is there a reason you won’t tell me why you look as if you’d been tossed in varren pit?” Lexi was patching Sara up, searing together a large cut across her abdomen. 

“Yes, just don’t ask anymore questions, because I am horrible at keeping secrets.” Lexi shook her head and sighed. 

“You really are, but this is concerning me Sara. This is the second time I’ve patched you up in two weeks and you’re not even on duty right now. Secret or not, whatever you’re doing can’t be worth all this.” Lexi reached up and lovingly tucked a strand of hair behind Sara’s ear. The Pathfinder smiled and shifted to the edge of the table, grabbing Lexi by the hips and pulling her in between her legs. 

“It’s definitely worth it… come on… I suppose I should show you now, since if I don’t, you may never let me finish it.” Sara slid off the table in the medbay, and placed a soft kiss to Lexi’s lips before tugging her off the Tempest and into a shuttle. 

The flight was short, only 20 minutes away from the center of Meridian. It wasn’t a fully explored area quite yet. Even after a year of settling their new home, so much was left untouched. Sara kind of liked it that way, it meant she still had a purpose, but also a place to get away. Which was exactly where she was taking Lexi. 

Sara landed the shuttle towards the bottom of a grassy hillside, a waterfall cascading down a rockface to their left. 

“This place still amazes me with it’s beauty.” Lexi emerged from the shuttle and spent a moment just looking around before Sara took her hand. 

“Are you afraid of heights, doctor?” Before Lexi could answer, Sara had wrapped her arms around the asari’s waist and engaged her jet pack, sending them way farther into the air than should’ve been possible. Lexi gripped Sara tightly, closing her eyes until she felt them land on solid ground, soft grass and Ryder’s biotics making for a gentle landing. 

“Honey, we’re home.” Sara smiled as Lexi turned around, breath catching as she took in the sight before her. It wasn’t a large structure, glass panels created walls for what looked like a two story building with at least four of five rooms. It even contained a bit of what looked like Remnant tech, green lights glowing, illuminating the surfaces. It was a beautiful home on a cliffside, overlooking a rolling valley with a river flowing between the mountains. 

“Sara…” Lexi turned towards Ryder, feeling the moisture gathering at the corner of her eyes. 

“It’s all ours.” Sara reached up and wiped away the two tears that rolled down the asari’s cheeks. “Let me show you the inside?” Lexi nodded enthusiastically, taking Sara’s hand as she followed her into the house. 

“It’s not completely done, but I’m getting there.” Lexi watched as a few Remnant drones flew around, working on bits and pieces of the house that were still in progress. The home had a beautiful kitchen whose window looked out onto the waterfall. The bedroom to the right of the kitchen, had it’s own gorgeous view of the valley, the light beginning to set off in the distance. Another room appeared to be an office of sorts for Sara, a place that currently stored all of her gear and collected items. 

“The next room is my favorite…” Sara tugged Lexi with her into one of the larger rooms of the structure. A fully stocked research and medical station with state of the art equipment. “It took some favors, but Vetra’s a good person to know. The Tempest is tiny, I just thought you needed a bit more room to work.” Lexi was beside herself. It was obvious Sara had taken so much time to work on this, literally blood, sweat and tears to make a home for them. 

 

“This is… our home. It’s… Sara, it’s amazing.” Lexi wasn’t sure what to say, no one had ever done anything like this for her. She’d been hesitant to come to Andromeda, worried about jumping into the unknown, with no one to catch her. Yet, here was Sara Ryder, her bondmate, building their home, a place to start their life together. 

“There’s one more room. Come here.” Sara couldn’t wipe the grin off of her face, it was obvious that the home meant a lot to Lexi, she could feel the other woman’s happiness. 

Sara took them up a set of stairs to the left of the kitchen which lead to an observation deck that had a large couch overlooking the beautiful Meridian landscape. Ryder playful tugged Lexi down onto the couch next to her, wrapping her around around the asari and pointing in front of them. 

“The milky way is straight ahead. Right over the horizon. That’s our past and all of this…“ Sara pulled Lexi close, blue eyes meeting hazel. “It’s our present and future.” 

“I love you, Sara.”  
“I love you, too.” 

The end… for now :D


End file.
